This is an open letter to the love of my life (a Marine).
I've always been told that when I find the one for me, I'll know. When I met you, I knew. I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with you. I knew that out of the seven billion people in this world, you are the one I want and need to spend the rest of my life with. I knew I'd give up anything and everything to be with you. I also knew this was going to be hard; there'd be fights, longing to be together, months without intimate physical contact from anyone, tears, fear, and hurt. I [thought I] knew what I was signing up for.
There's countless negative aspects of being with you, and everyone sees it. My friends ask how I'm holding up. Strangers whom I've never talked to in my life as my "how I do it." I cry, a lot. I miss you, a lot. There are days that fly by but when I think of how much longer I have left of not seeing you, it feels like years, like I can't do it. I feel my heart break when I remember you've still got years left. Each time you get hurt I feel my stomach [and world] flip, I've got the biggest urge to jump on a plane and be there. I can't do that because I'd be completely broke if I did. I hate not being there. I hate being so far away all the time. I have no control of your life and you have no control of mine. I've got to trust you with everything I am. When you tell me you're at a bar I have to trust that you won't leave with some random woman. I have to keep my imagination [and worst nightmares] at bay. I go days without talking to you while I watch girls post on Facebook a new picture with their boyfriends every day. I'm lucky if I see you once every six months. All I have of you is stuck inside my memories and pictures. It's all so hard and there are days I feel like this is impossible, like I can't get through years of it.
You're worth it. You treat my like the princess I want to be. You call me each and every chance you get. Yes, I go many, many months without seeing you. Yes, I cry but honestly, sometimes it's only because I know I'm so blessed to have such a strong, wonderful, loving man in my life. I'm so proud of you and everything you do. I hear people talk about and praise military men at every event I go to and I can't help but smile because I've got my Marine. I've got you. I've got God's most amazing creation and you're all mine. I trust you with my entire life. I'd drop anything and everything to be with you. Each moment I get to spend with you is a new best moment of my life. Each second is so much more precious. Being with you physically is so uplifting and brings me so much joy. Longing to feel your touch, to be wrapped up in your arms, to be able to kiss you and hold you all comes to an abrupt end [for a few days] when I see you for the first time again. Each second I get with you is priceless. I appreciate and love each and every second I get with you. You're my whole world.
There's ups and downs to every relationship. Our downs are when we have to say goodbye, our ups are the months leading up to when we know we'll get to say hello again, the overwhelmingly exciting days leading up to hello, the few anxious hours before hello, the brief seconds before hello when I forget to breathe, the hello, the time after hello. We live on an emotional rollercoaster but its so, so worth it.
Thank you for everything you do. I'm so proud of you. Everyone is proud of you even though you may not always realize it. Everyone I know [religious or not] says they pray for you. I pray for you, I pray for us, our future, our children, our families, our life together.
One day, we won't have to say goodbye. God led you to me because we need each other, and one day we'll have each other endlessly.
I cried writing this because I love you. I wish you were here.
I love you [forever].