Love Letters

I’m constantly talking to a wall I can’t talk to you about things that are important to me Or even things that are senseless My words don’t matter to you Everytime I try to share my thoughts or express myself You disregard them You ignore me You disappear You’re a fucking wall My voice only matters to you when I’m screaming at you You hear me but you don’t listen You’re not present but your presence takes up space You’re a fucking wall If I punch a hole will you listen to me now? Maybe if I break it down I’ll have freedom of speech Freedom of me
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I’m tired of loving you It drains and consumes me You take all my kindness and turn it into anger You leave me with emptiness and sadness You take everything good in me for yourself I’m tired of loving you I’m exhausted of trying My body aches from the pain My brain feels fried My eyes are drained You only love yourself I love you but I’m exhausted
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I never thought this day would come. We met so many years ago. Almost 7 to be exact. I remember meeting you at a church youth activity. You picked me to be on your volleyball team and you had no idea who I was. That was March 2, 2012. We started texting and talking in the phone. Then we started dating April 15, 2012. To say the least, I was head over heals for you. You were my first boyfriend and I was smitten. Then you were my first kiss. Let’s be honest, I had no idea what a I was doing with myself when you kissed me in the church parking lot after church one day. I didn’t know this is how things would be. You told me you loved me and I was so far deep in now. On July 6, 2012, you broke up with me for the first time. Well actually you didn’t. You just stopped texting me. I remember...
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Josh, I want nothing more than to be with you. I would be the emotionally safe person you so very much need and I would never ask you to give up things about yourself you love and value just to please me better. I would just love you. I would listen to you, feel the hurt and loss you've experienced right along with you, heal with you, encourage you, respect you and make love to you. Yes, you read that right, I would make wonderful unapologetic passionate love to you, with you, for you, etc...I would share myself completely with you becaue I know you would be my safe haven as well. I would take pleasure in seeing you perform in your element. I am not threatened to let you shine. I would make efforts to travel with you during long work weeks so that you would have someone to have dinner...
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Babe, I know I've fucked up so many times including a while ago. But sweetie please don't block me in your life again. I know I have these sexual tendencies and urges you don't like. But baby, I never cheated on you. Yes I watch porn and masturbate. But that's only that. We've talked about it several times now. And I know you don't like it when I do so. But baby believe me, it's a normal thing for me. It's just my own way of release from public eye and social tension. At least that's what it is to me now. Babe, please understand. Please try to be more understanding. I love you so much and I don't ever want to lose you because of this. Babe, I know how to control it ok? Believe me. I won't make it a hindrance in my life or even in our relationship. Babe please don't think that just...
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To my mechanic, my car guy, the tire dude, the one with the scarred knuckles, busted hands, calloused fingers, and grease stained clothes… I see you. I see you working hard every single day for our family. I see you tired and worn out, covered in your days’ work, playing with our son, teaching our daughter how to clean up her toys. I see you helping around the house, even when I’ve been lazy and should have done it. I see you at work, goofing off with your friends but worrying about bills and money and how we will pay everything, feed the kids, and take care ourselves. I see you working just a little bit longer for those few extra dollars in a work week that has been less than desirable. I see you dealing with all sorts of adversity every day and overcoming it every time. I see you...
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I always thought we would be together. Regardless of the multiple times that we fought, the multiple times that people told us we wouldn’t make it, we always seemed to get through things . When we found out we were having our child, I know we were both nervous. We were going to be parents. The day we had our son, was the most wonderful day of my life, I would say it was the most wonderful day of your life too, but if it was, you’d be here for your son. You broke my heart, told me how worthless I was, you screamed at me In front of our son, and slammed my name to your friends and family. The mother of your child, and you treated me like I was your worst enemy. Of course my heart aches, when you moved on. When you started taking girls out on dates, even started talking to some of my “...
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To the boy who unknowingly holds my heart, When I first met you, I had no idea I would become this infatuated with you. You were just another person on the other side of the classroom that I was too afraid to talk to. Even after the first time I spoke one on one with you, I brushed the moment aside not even thinking twice about it. And then second semester happened, and everything changed. I knew you were the one the moment you told me you were like Newt Scamander. Which, I know, is the dumbest, nerdiest thing ever. But once you pointed that out to me, I saw these things in you that took me by surprise, and the more I got to know you the more I realized how wonderful you were. You're the perfect amount of geek, and every time you gush to me about D...
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I have told you so many times about what I feel about you. But it is not always easy of letting you know how much I love you. You complete me every time I see your eyes, your handsome face, and your sweet smile that will help me face what tomorrow will bring. My life is so predictable, never had any mystery but starting you walk into my life, you have bring a color to it. All of that was history, now that I have a hand to hold and a reason to believe. You made me realize that I have someone in my life worth living for. Love is so mysterious, I can't explain how destiny played it's part and how you step into my world. But I know one thing for sure that I love you for the rest of my days and I knew from the start that you and me belong together. All my life I...
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I don't know why but every time I see your face, your eyes and your sweet smile. I think I am loosing my mind and everything seems right but I know I should not feel this way. I always try to avoid this feeling, If I could just walk away without a message for you but I know I will die just thinking of you. How can something so wrong feels so right all along? How can love be so selfish knowing you are miles away from me? Knowing you can never be with me to stay and I can't go on all along pretending that I am fine. But why do I feel this way? I know one thing for sure, I can't move on with life without you and I am falling for you. I Know what I feel is crazy because I haven't met you but what I feel is real and I wanted it to stay this way. I don't know what...
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