I Wish I Could Tell You This

Subject: I Wish I Could Tell You This
Date: 23 Dec 2018

To the boy who unknowingly holds my heart,

When I first met you, I had no idea I would become this infatuated with you. You were just another person on the other side of the classroom that I was too afraid to talk to. Even after the first time I spoke one on one with you, I brushed the moment aside not even thinking twice about it. And then second semester happened, and everything changed.

I knew you were the one the moment you told me you were like Newt Scamander. Which, I know, is the dumbest, nerdiest thing ever. But once you pointed that out to me, I saw these things in you that took me by surprise, and the more I got to know you the more I realized how wonderful you were. You're the perfect amount of geek, and every time you gush to me about D&D or books you've read it makes my heart melt more and more. You're so delightfully stupid sometimes; every dumb comment you make never fails to make me laugh, and I love how embarrassed you get at yourself. Yet you're also so smart, and I could listen to you go on about your writings and ideas for hours on end. There are so many fantastic things going on in your brain, and I have no idea how you or anyone else could ever think you were boring.

You have the prettiest eyes. I don't know if you know this, but they change colors based on your clothes and it's the coolest thing. I have to repeatedly tell myself to not stare at you sometimes, but they're just so captivating. I love your hair, be it short and tossed or long, curly, and messy. I love your dimples that pop out every once in a while when you're laughing really hard at something. Speaking of, I love your laugh. Every time I hear it my heart flutters and it brightens my whole day. Seeing you smile brings butterflies to my stomach every time. Also, I love your tall awkwardness-it makes you the perfect amount of tallness to me and makes your hugs just the right amount of cozy.

The more I've gotten to know you, the more I see all of your traits, good and bad. And with each new piece of the puzzle that is you that I discover, the more I realize I like you. You're everything in a person I could ever want. We fit together in a way I only dreamed I could find. You're one of the closest friends I could ever ask for, and you know just what to say to make my shitty days a little better. I just want to be with you all the time, and each moment I'm not talking to you I'm wishing I was.

I wish I was brave enough to send you this. I wish I could take the next step and see what could happen between us. But I'm too unsure of the outcome to risk losing you.

Maybe one day...

Your Tina