More Open Letters

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

2,881

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

3,556

Dear Eyebrows,

3,049

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

2,749

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

3,678

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

You sadistic bastards.

Do you dislike kids? What else...

2,730

Dear Sonicare Electric Toothbrush,

I admit, I was always skeptical of your much-heralded...

2,742

Dear Vice President Cheney,

Let me express my condolences for the loss of your chief of...

3,435

Dear Jim at the Oregon Department of Revenue,

When I filed my taxes in February last year...

3,747

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