More Open Letters

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

2,541

I am writing this letter as an individual who is tired of our culture's obsession with...

2,603

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

2,655

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

3,341

Dear Eyebrows,

2,828

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

2,549

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

3,424

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

You sadistic bastards.

Do you dislike kids? What else...

2,559

Dear Sonicare Electric Toothbrush,

I admit, I was always skeptical of your much-heralded...

2,559

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