More Open Letters

Dear Elephant in the Ikea-Furnished Room,

2,391

Dear Fawn,

I am writing to you to discuss some of the events of our first personal...

3,163

Dear Hollywood Movie Machine,

What happened to you?

Once, when I was a young man,...

2,849

Dear Playboy poster,

I pity you, Playboy poster. How very sad to be imprisoned in that...

3,244

Dear Sony Vaio PCG-V505DX,

I thought I was buying a compact, highly portable machine to...

3,297

Dear Hummingbirds,

Hey, would you take it easy already? What’s the freakin’ rush,...

3,216

Dear Jeepers Creepers II,

I see that a thin layer of dust is gathering on you. And that...

3,023

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

2,323

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