More Open Letters

Dear Facebook,

Go ahead, take whatever you want. I won’t try to stop you.

Utilize...

7,223

Dear Job Market,

3,137

Dear Elf on the Fucking Shelf,

You’re a book, a doll, a keepsake box. You’re an iPhone...

3,096

Dear Today Show:

During an episode I randomly watched while I was hungover, you invited a...

3,097

Dear Self-Interrupters,

You don’t know who you are, but I do. I’m the one listening,...

2,686

Dear Class of 1994,

I regret to announce my resignation as “Most Likely to Succeed.”...

2,298

Dear Targeted Online Advertisers,

I hesitate to write this, because honestly, much of...

2,879

Dear Arabic Labials,

A few years back, I taught English to speakers of other languages....

3,582

Dear Canonical Authors,

I regret the impersonal nature of this form letter, but time-...

3,568

Dear Mrs. Angrum:

I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate you for successfully...

7,557

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