More Open Letters

Dear Lighting in the Victoria’s Secret Dressing Room,

I’m not sure if you remember me,...

7,666

Dear Dreams,

Books, toothbrush, drown, raisin pie, leotards, cockadoodledoo, Napoleon,...

3,100

Dear Libido,

Okay, so what’s up with you these days?

Everybody knows that women...

3,360

Dear Last Pack of Camel Lights (Summer 2009),

2,958

Dear Sir or Madam,

As my Islamic Humanities exam draws near and my nose finds itself...

2,613

Dear Ms. Jordan,

My mother, an elementary-school librarian, gave me a copy of your book...

3,079

Dear Psychotic Dogs,

I think you may have noticed my affection for other animals—...

6,498

Dearest Lost Bikini Bra,

I wish I had the words to tell you how keenly I miss you.

...
2,916

Dear Wendy,

First of all, I want to say that I picked your chain over the other fast-food...

3,338

Dear James Randi,

I am writing to you in regard to your offer of $1 million to anyone who...

3,745

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