Molested by my cousin

Subject: Molested by my cousin
From: Anonymous
Date: 8 Jan 2019

I have a lot of cousins, but I’m really close to my mom’s sister’s kids. There is a girl and a boy. They would come down from where they lived every summer and every Christmas. Until recently I always dread them coming down or is going up there to visit them because my cousin that’s a boy molested me when I was 6. I remember the day it happened, I had done something I was told to stop doing and I started doing it again, and he told me he wouldn’t say anything to my mom if I let him do something. I was young and didn’t know what he meant. So he would put his hand down my pants while we were in the living room at night, he would put his hand down there for a long time and would rub and finger and do nasty stuff that younger me didn’t know what it was, I remember the first night it happened he made me touch his penis it was hard and wet and I was disgusted so I pulled my hand away and he tried to convince me to do it again. That was only the first time. He had a laptop and I liked playing games on it so he would use that against me. We’d be sitting in the kitchen in the open at the dining room table and he’d put his hand down my pants while I was playing on his laptop. This went on for at least 5 years. I realized what he was doing and once I was 11 I told him that I didn’t like it and he needed to stop. He made me promise not to tell anybody, but I really want to but I think it would tear our family apart. He recently got a girlfriend and I keep thinking to myself that he touched me probably the same way he’s touched her. I now dread seeing him and I’m scared that it will happen again. I don’t know what to do about it, I’m 13 now and it pops in my head and I want to tell someone but i don’t know what they’d do about it.