A letter from "the crazy daughter that hates us"
That's all I am to the man that you guys call father. That's all I am to all of you.
Maybe I can take you guys on a trip down memory lane. Maybe you'll understand my pain.
I scroll through my time line and come across pictures of my "dad" at chuck E cheeses, with kids who aren't even his.
You say I feel jealousy, I say I feel hurt. I feel sadness. Ask him when he ever took me, or my brother.
I see you guys living in a HUGE, nice house. Care to know where I lived?
My brother and I lived in a bug infested duplex, sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
Now don't take this wrong, my mom tried. She tried damn hard. She had nobody though. We made do, while I watch you live in luxery.
I see that my dad takes you guys out to eat on the regular. You know what we ate? My single mom would come home after waitressing and busting her ass all day, and scrape up some hamburger helper or spaghetti, while attempting to do her own school work.
My "dad" provides for you, as you sit at home. How I would have LOVED that for my mom. She wasn't good enough though. To live a peaceful life.
You & your children are dressed in name brand, from head to toe.
My school shoes were so old at one point, that the stinch filled up a classroom, where I was humiliated in front of all my peers.
You guys are rocking new vehicles, while I grew up in one that would break down every other time we left the house.
He post Happy Birthday every year, publically to all of YOUR children. Yet I wait around until midnight YEAR AFTER YEAR, all the while, knowing my father won't even tell me Happy Birthday.
He stopped the bottle for you, for your kids, but I wasn't enough. My brother wasn't enough. His own flesh and blood.
We weren't good enough, but you guys are.
Now my own child is here, I watch him treat her how he did me. He says he cares but doesn't speak to her, ask about her or ever come to visit her. The cycle looks so familiar.
So please take all of this into consideration before speaking bad on our names or assuming we are envious.
I don't wish you bad, I just wish he were able to give us better.
I used to have a soft spot for the man, but after having a child of my own, I could never imagine doing to them what he has done to me and my brother.
I don't hate you, or him.
However, I choose to spend a life with people who value my daughter and me.
I don't seek sympathy, I just ask you see it from my point of view. Things aren't always as they may appear.
We have lived VERY different lives with the same man.