I’m turning 47 next month. I’ve been divorced and single 12+ years. My story is complex, emotional, and lonely.
Really, I’ve been single much longer. He rejected me early in our marriage, before we even said “I do”. We became pregnant while dating, and at 27, it was my first time ever to be expecting. I didn’t expect him to stick around...but truthfully I’m glad he did at least long enough for me to also have the 3rd pregnancy. The first we were blessed with a son, the second miscarried, the third a daughter. I’ve raised them alone, no regrets.
Yet, I would welcome a loving man to share my life with now that my children are teenagers and thriving well.
Over the years I’ve been single I chose not to attempt relationships with other men cause I desired putting my children first....
Love Letters
When we first met, i was a 17 year old high school failure. I was failing everything in school and in my social life. I mean i’ve never even had a real girlfriend before. But then i met you. I remember everything about that day. Your big beautiful blue eyes, your long brown hair and your surprisingly big ears. I always that they were cute. We talked for a while i think til like 3-4 in the morning and we clicked right away. I always remember the feeling i had whenever we talked. Wether it was in person, text or facetime. At the time, i couldn’t describe it, but i loved it. Then you dropped the bombshell, that you actually live 4 hours away and it would be difficult to be a couple. We never officially began dating but we definitely liked each other. One of our first times hanging out was us...
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As we all know wedding showers can be very stressful to plan for. You want them to be as fun and entertaining for all to remember years down the road. Well if you are trying to plan a bridal shower for a friend or family member, why not be unique and let all have fun including the men. Most bridal showers I have been to were very nice, but all we did was just sit around and eat and open up gifts. So to make it more interesting a little creativity in your mind and include all. Heres an idea for that bridal shower I have for you. I came about this idea, because of one of my hubby's friends are getting married, and I needed to think of something different for the brides' shower, to tell hubby's friends fiances friend that's planning the shower.
First, you want to create that bridal...
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As I sit on my bed, listening to so many songs
I just want to write to you, I know you won't see it.. But I like to think you're there
Ally, I really miss you.. I go by what you said to me, that rainy date, 'Always find the light in the shadows'
I know you want me to be happy, be happy on my own...
But girl, really... It's so difficult..
No girl is like you, It should upset me but to be frank with you, It makes me miss you even more, but It makes more cherish the moments we've had together even more.
I really think about you, like a lot.. I know it won't bring you back but thinking genuinely does bring me such comfort.
I reminisce our time together, most notably our date on the beach and your friend's party...
Surprisingly though, out of a lot of stuff we had in common.....
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This is to say that I will always remember you.
I will always love you... Even years from now, even decades... Even if we have moved on and have a family, I will always love you and remember you.
To this day, I'm still comparing others to you...
I remember how you looked in my arms, how you slept, and how you did little things...
I hope you the best, and I hope you find the one that will love you more than I ever did and could, and also, this is to that person... Don't ever let her go... She is one of a kind...
Adorkable
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This journey with you is not easy. As we continue to build something that will be meaningful, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be with you. Your heart is safe with me, I will nurture and protect it. These bars do not hold my heart. You do. You've captured it, and I want you to treasure it. My love for you is pure, real and sacred. I never knew that I could care about someone the way that I feel about you. I'm drawn to you, connected to you. I would love to look into your beautiful green eyes and tell you just how lucky I am, to have you in my life. I know that I'm not the woman of your dreams, but you are definitely the man of mine. I no longer look at clocks, or other devices that tell time. I don't pay attention to it. I treasure each moment that I'm allowed...
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Dear Future Husband,
I am 31, and full of Wanderlust.
I spent some of my twenties and early thirties exploring the United States.
I have always been a curious person, feeling the need to see new places and
taste new foods and touch interesting things and listen to new sounds.
I have always been of the belief that my Future Husband will have that
same drive to explore, and travel, and experience all things new. I yearn
to have you with me, on long flights, endless car rides, walking aimlessly
through new cities, excited.... curious.
I want to go to New Orleans. I crave the smells and sounds and sights I've
read about, heard about. I want you with me when I pick my first voodoo donut.
I've thought about taking this trip alone, but my Spirit is holding me back,
as if you'...
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This summer I decided to start using a dating app with the hope that it would take me out of my comfort zone, and introduce me to guys I might not normally get the chance to meet during my daily routine.
I had not expected to fall for you. You asked me out during one of our first conversations, and I said yes because I liked the kinds of topics we had been talking about, and I wanted to get to know you better. You mentioned that you were in the army, and was visiting your family while on leave. Initially I hadn’t wanted to go on the date, and was close to canceling because I was scared to start dating again. I also knew you were only going to be here for a short period of time, so I wanted to avoid getting attached. I’m glad I didn’t cancel because that night ended up being one of...
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Hello there, I want to start by saying its 1am and I'm trying to sleep... with the Hope's we dont have any calls to do. Because I'm here doing something I never thought possible until I met you. I have a career now (still in firefighting and EMS). But it's a career that I go to every day and remember I'm here because of you. Most of the time it's alright I'm so busy and I'm around good company that it doesnt bother me. Today, not so much.
Today I'm reminded of everything from the 3 years we were together. I'm reminded about how you saved me right out of highschool from an emotionally abusive relationship. I'm reminded about the conversations we had from the time we woke up to about this time every morning. I remember even if you dont. I remember the "I dont know if it's to early to...
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Dear Other Woman,
I won’t say your name, though I know it well. I just wanted to take a moment to get a few things off my chest.
First and foremost, I am sorry. I am so incredibly beyond sorry for not getting to you before now. If I only had a found you sooner maybe I could have prevented this. Unfortunately, I know exactly how you’re feeling. Lost. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Exiled. And scared.
For a split moment I hated you. When I first laid eyes on the picture of you holding him. I saw nothing but red. I thought of no less than 15 ways of causing you harm within seconds. You were going to feel my wrath. You were going to feel the same amount of pain that you caused me.
As the anger quickly faded to sadness I felt my breath catch. Before I could stop it the tears were...
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