I shared my little secret with two people today because I felt I would explode if I didn't. Because they both asked me the same question on two different occasions:
"Do you love XXXX?"
I couldn't answer before but now I could. They know. You don't. I can't bring myself to do it just yet. Funny enough, they both said the same thing. "Oh, they feel the same way." I asked how they could know because the last time, I completely deluded myself into believing the last person reciprocated my love. I was so wrong about the whole thing the entire time. All they could say was "This kind of thing, it usually is mutual. When it's real, that is."
I don't know what to think, however. You told me last week you don't love me. I didn't ask that and I don't really know how that subject...
Love Letters
From the moment I met you I knew I loved you. I'm glad that after the manipulation that was my previous relationship, I found you. You love me for me. You accept me for all of the weird and cute things I do. Every day I wake up and think of you. I know that we're young, but that's what makes this great. It's fun yet serious. We're not like the other opinionated people of our generation. We don't worry about what other people think. From the awkward first dance, to the first kiss, to the amazing cuddle sessions, and the makeout sessions, and everything else in between this relationship is everything I wanted and more. I'm so blessed to have you in my life, and that sounds weird because I haven't been very religious lately. Anyway, I love you. I will always love you. I can't wait for the...
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It occurred to me not more than a few hours ago, that I am in love with you. In spite of all of my troubles with life happening and untangling it all, I did. It came at such a funny moment. Washing my dishes. But that's when epiphanies usually occur. When I'm cleaning. My version of therapy. We've known each other almost six months but really been together for almost a month and a half.
And I made a promise to myself this time around when I knew just where my feelings were headed. This time, I would be absolutely sure before I said anything to someone. Because the last time, it went horribly awry and I was never more wrong about a person than I was about him. I didn't really love him, either. I loved some version of someone I thought I could save. I watched him set our...
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Dear Mental Illness,
I don’t know how to open this; I could say we met in a poetic way with a terrible childhood experience or we could say it was an ex-boyfriend or my teen pregnancy but I am not sure that is correct. I feel like you have been there all along, living inside my head. I can’t exactly explain it to anyone when they ask about my spouts of depression or anxiety, I feel like I am being an attention whore. Instead I will tell you how I feel when you decide to come along and grace me with you company. When you show up I don’t always feel sad or want to cry, sometimes I can’t feel anything. I can wake up and feel like it’s the best day of my life and then 10 o’clock rolls around and I feel like dying would be the best choice for me. When I have those days nothing happens to...
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Hey.
It's been a month and, well, I'm alive and breathing, I think you are too. I miss you but I don't really know, you know.
I was thinking about how much I miss you like 2 weeks ago. You unknowingly healed my scars, and honestly, I wanted to tell you what those scars were, and I wanted to heal any scars you have. I'm pretty sure you do. Your stepbrother certainly does.
And then I realized, hey, we don't even know each other that much.
I loved you. And you loved me. But we didn't know that much about each other. In fact, I'd showed you a lot of my heart considering the little time we had.
I wish we had more time together, but I probably wouldn't have been able to survive it. I would have hurt you and hurt myself again. I'm happy that at least that didn't happen. I don't want to be...
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I saw you today. You came and surprised me at school and I couldn't have been more exhilarated and confused. I wasn't expecting you to come say "hello" for just five minutes. To steal a hug and a kiss. To take a look at me and I couldn't help but be taken in by how the blue of your eyes were accentuated by the shirt you were wearing. My heart was pounding as I came closer to you. I felt a smile breaking onto my face and it took all of my will to not jump right into your arms. You reached in for a kiss and a tight hug. I felt compelled to reach out and touch your face and the few days growth that was on your face. The growth that you know I appreciate and had commented on months ago. Months before we decided to be where we are now.
I don't know where we're going but I think I...
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I know things went wrong years ago for you. You admitted you were at fault. Since then, you don't really get serious and I know why but you'll never admit it to me. I get you, too. I see more into you than you think. Like when you got just a little jealous the other day and for no good reason. You tried to play it off. You do that a lot. You try to act casual sometimes. As if something doesn't really bother you or matters.
I don't know what to make of you saying that you no longer believe in romance. I don't know what to think and wonder if I should just cut and run now before I get in too deep with my own feelings and invest where I shouldn't. Where it would just be wasted. I don't know if this is you just trying to act like that because you don't want me to get scared...
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We met before my break-up. I was already troubled in the relationship and knew deep down it was time for me to end it. I didn't really notice you at first. Well, I didn't feel an attraction, at least. I thought you were cute and when you had to introduce yourself to the class, I felt myself perk up when you mentioned working with animals and being in the military and fire department. All things which I found intriguing but I never gave it a second thought because I was faithful to a guy who was not the same.
Things were ended between me and the ex and we began to talk more. We were, after all, spending five days a week together, for four hours a day, in class. You were graduating before I was but we still would talk in passing. Outside or in class or whisper jokes to each...
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It's been 6 days since you came over and broke up with me. 6 days since I lost my best friend. 6 days of grieving over someone who I thought would always be mine. 6 days of wondering what I did wrong. 6 days of wondering how much of the last 2 years were real.
When you're in love you really never see how life is without your significant other. You always have someone just a call away. You have someone wondering if you're okay or if you've made it home safe. When something good happens there is always that one person who pops into your head that you immediately want to tell. And when something bad happens there is that one person who you immediately want to hold you. But all of that comes crashing down one day and you're just left to wondering, what happened?
Two years ago we met at a...
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Not gonna lie, I'm a lot to deal with.
I have my days, quite a few of them actually: I'm confident for one moment and insecure the next; I try my best to keep the happy and bubbly personality going, but on the inside I'm a stewing pot; I'm angry and sad and afraid. I'm not saying that I'm not as great as I may seem, but I'm definitely not perfect either, however, you probably already know that. I’ve told you my past, but you don’t even know the half of it. Today, I’m completing the story.
When my father was sick at home, I was the one taking care of him. I spent night and day at my father's feet. Every waking moment I spent waiting for him to ask me to complete another one of his tasks. I loved these moments. Helping was what I liked to do. Every little duty proved my allegiance to my...
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