More Open Letters

Dear People Who Use the “Battle” Metaphor for Other People Who Have the Distinct Displeasure of...

7,772

Dear Parents:

On behalf of your friends without children, I’m officially serving notice...

3,668

After being in a fairly long-term relationship my friends and I decided it would be good for me...

4,585

Dear Havingsaidthat,

A certain tentativeness of opinion has become fashionable of late....

3,078

Dear Facebook,

Go ahead, take whatever you want. I won’t try to stop you.

Utilize...

7,835

Dear Job Market,

3,524

Dear Elf on the Fucking Shelf,

You’re a book, a doll, a keepsake box. You’re an iPhone...

3,470

Dear Today Show:

During an episode I randomly watched while I was hungover, you invited a...

3,499

Dear Self-Interrupters,

You don’t know who you are, but I do. I’m the one listening,...

3,017

Dear Class of 1994,

I regret to announce my resignation as “Most Likely to Succeed.”...

2,573

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