More Open Letters

Dear Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher,

You didn’t know she’d had a heart attack a thousand...

4,504

Dear #fitgirls,

I’m worried that if I see another green smoothie on your Instagram, I...

3,341

Dear mango fly larva currently taking up residence in my left buttock,

It’s time to come...

5,242

Dear truckers,

I found your piss. Twenty-three bottles, to be exact, in the grass along...

3,424

Dear Paleo Diet Enthusiasts,

3,417

Dear ugly mug I painted at Paint A Dream last weekend,

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to...

3,114

Dear MTA Riders of the Male Persuasion,

I know you like to spread your chests wide,...

3,668

Dear Ex-Fiancé,

Sometime last summer I contracted an infection in my left hand.

...

7,166

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