More Open Letters

AN OPEN LETTER TO TARGETED ONLINE ADVERTISERS

Dear Targeted Online Advertisers,

I hesitate to write this, because honestly, much of...

3,212
AN OPEN LETTER TO ARABIC LABIALS

Dear Arabic Labials,

A few years back, I taught English to speakers of other languages....

3,938
AN OPEN LETTER TO CANONICAL AUTHORS

Dear Canonical Authors,

I regret the impersonal nature of this form letter, but time-...

3,930
AN OPEN LETTER TO ANDREA ANGRUM, SITE DIRECTOR FOR NASA’S VOYAGER PROGRAM

Dear Mrs. Angrum:

I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate you for successfully...

8,200
AN OPEN LETTER OF THANKS TO THE GUY WITH THE SMIRKING LOOK OF DISDAIN AND SUPERIORITY WHEN I TRY TO UPSELL HIM AT MY DEAD-END RETAIL JOB

Dear Sir,

Would it be presumptuous to tell you how I really feel? Share my emotions? Lay...

3,287
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY TODDLER REGARDING HIS USE OF MY IPHONE

Dear Son/Future Apple Employee,
3,373
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE HOT CANADIAN ZUMBA TEACHER WHO PULLED ME ONSTAGE AFTER MY MOTHER DIED

Dear Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher,

You didn’t know she’d had a heart attack a thousand...

4,419
AN OPEN LETTER TO #FITGIRLS

Dear #fitgirls,

I’m worried that if I see another green smoothie on your Instagram, I...

3,246
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MANGO FLY LARVA LIVING IN MY LEFT BUTTOCK

Dear mango fly larva currently taking up residence in my left buttock,

It’s time to come...

5,119
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LADY AT THE FARMERS’ MARKET AND THE LADY AT THE APPLE STORE WHO OFFERED ME THEIR UNWANTED CONDOLENCES FOR EXPECTING A SECOND BABY BOY

Dear Ladies,

I don’t know you and you don’t me.

Yet, when you noticed the...

6,212

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