Entertainment

Dear Coach Kinnear: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it’s broken, fix it!! Things That Are NOT Broken: Wondo at forward. When he was at forward, he scored three goals, and was on his way to another great season. When you decided to play him at mid, or not play him at all, our offense tanked. In fact, before subbing Wondo on this past Friday, our offense only had two shots. After Wondo came on, we generated eight shots. If Wondo is scoring at forward, keep him at forward. When he stops scoring at forward, THEN move him. Now I know there’s more to the Wondo story than you’re telling people, and I know you like to play your cards close to your chest, but a little honesty would be great every once in a while. Wondo’s playing injured, right? And the whole “fatigue” thing...
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Dear Don Garber and Mark Abbott, We would like to congratulate you on negotiating a successful new collective bargaining agreement with the MLS players association. We are all excited to watch MLS kickoff its 20th season this evening when the Chicago Fire take on the Los Angeles Galaxy. Unfortunately, there is a pressing matter that still needs to be resolved before tonight’s match: the unprecedented, arbitrary, unilateral and unnecessary sanctions on the Angel City Brigade Supporters Group. Recently Major League Soccer, with the cooperation of the Los Angeles Galaxy, imposed an eight game sanction (four home, four away) on the Angel City Brigade. The Angel City Brigade is banned from the use of drums, trumpets, capos, flags, banners and the like. League officials made it very...
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Dear Devs, When I got home from school today, I had an awesome surprise waiting for me in my inbox: an invitation to join the Alpha phase of your game! I must say that I am honored, but not surprised, that I was chosen. I am going to assume tales of my 733t performance in other games are finally spreading across the internet and that you want the best of the best to be the first to play your creation. I am really happy that more gaming companies are giving early access, but not sure why they just don't release it to everyone at once. I am once again going to go right ahead and assume that you only want the top tier gamers playing first before letting all the peasants on your server. I mean, it's called ALPHA for a reason, right? I imagine it's because you devs want to show off the...
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“Collette, I don’t care if you have a couple drinks after work, but you have to stop crying at the bar! Did you realize Maggie Ghyllenhaal was sitting right next to you?!” That was my boss reprimanding me and being way too nice about it. It was my first month on the job at my new bar tending gig. Apparently, I got drunk and told a friend of yours to fuck off. Apparently, you were sitting next to me. It was a miracle I wasn’t fired. 5 minutes later, your friend and I hugged it out. I guess he was really pissed off about something…I was really pissed off about something…we locked eyes and took it out on each other. As things escalated, we eventually reasoned our tiff had nothing to do with each other and everything to do with ourselves. Every time I saw him at work after that, we...
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Dear Bruce, We weren’t surprised to learn that the recent stories about taking on Apple over rights to your iTunes collection turned out to be false. However, we suspect that this issue may be of genuine concern to you and to others who have amassed large collections of digital music downloads. For that, we feel your pain – and would like to lend a hand. As a way to clear up the music ownership question and hopefully make up for some of the trouble caused by the free-wheeling London media, we have a simple offer for you: let us replace your entire iTunes collection, on us, with music you’ll really own on Murfie. We’ve even already opened up a Murfie account for you with some albums we suspect are part of your library. I’m sure you have an absolutely incredible music collection....
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Dear Jeremy, I'm sorry to hear you've been sacked. No, really, strangely, I actually am. But you didn't give the BBC much choice. You can't whack a member of your own production team in a drunken, foul-mouthed rage - however cold the food. When we ended our 10-year feud in a pub last summer, I could tell you were very fragile, both emotionally and physically. Your mother had just died, your marriage had broken down, you had various discomforting health issues, you were smoking and drinking too much, and you were reeling from the N-word scandal that nearly got you the sack 9 months ago. You made no secret to me of your loathing of some of the BBC hierarchy. But you felt torn because you loved doing Top Gear. I stumbled away that night, pleased that we'd buried the...
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Dearest Bruce: I have thought of a hundred different ways to write this to you. My fear is that I will not express strongly enough how very grateful I am for you. I promise to try, and humbly hope you will not only hear my words, but feel them too. I worried about how your very important announcement would be handled. I worried not only for you, but for the transgender community. You see, this holds a special place in my heart. My 16 year-old-son was assigned female at birth. He came out to me almost five years ago at age 12. I worried at first how the person I thought was my "daughter" could become my son. To my surprise, he not only became my son, but my hero. This life-changing journey has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. I have become not only his biggest...
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Dear Art Buyer; We have been working together for over 15 years now, have grown professionally together and have become good friends. We have shared good times, confided in each other and even overcome some crazy obstacles together. After all that, it is only just now occurring to me to share with you hints for getting the best work out of me and our photographers. I know that each project, each client and each creative team is different. I also know that the rules are always changing and you often find yourself without all of the information you need. My experience is that you do your best with what information you have; just like we do. I often find myself thinking about how similar our jobs are. We are both translators. You have to translate account executive language to...
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Dear Game Maker People, I've been purchasing and playing your products since I was very young. I've met many of you at various conferences, shows and press events. I've been to your offices, your parties and your homes. I consider some of you friends, and even those of you who it is not my pleasure to know well are dear to me. It is out of fondness, therefore, that I write this letter, and I hope that it is received thus. What I need to tell you is something you desperately need to hear. It is something you may have heard before, in jest, but I need you to hear me and to understand that I am being sincere. I need you to listen and to act, and above all trust that I am speaking the truth. This is difficult for me to write, but I know it is more difficult for you to see written. Again...
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Dear Entertainment Industry, I woke up this morning to a tide of 'leaked' videos and pictures from the set of the Suicide Squad movie. Now I have no particular interest in this film but I get more passionate about leaked content and excessive advertising of products. The public is inundated with constant tidbits to keep them interested across periods of time which often amount to over a year and it has become very tiring. Of course not all of these are intentional and it is sad to think that paparazzi will be lingering around films sets and locations in order to sell some photographs or footage. The Suicide Squad movie seems like the perfect example of this, as constant bits of information and footage from filming is being shown. If someone was to actively follow this then...
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