Sport

Dear England Football Squad, Now, as you may know, I am not really a fan of football but I did, by chance, catch the second half of the Ecuador game and some of the Portugal game. I know that it seems presumptious, but I was wondering if I could offer you a spot of advice? When you run down the wing, please don't pass the ball into the centre if there is no England player there. This particularly applies to you, Wayne, when you are playing as the only forward: if you have the ball, there won't be another forward in the centre because you are it!* If there is no England player there, then you are simply going to give it to the opposing team, and they aren't going to obligingly kick it into their own fucking goal now, are they? No, Wayne, they aren't. This may seem really basic...
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Dear England fans, I am sorry for what happened yesterday. I am sure it wouldn’t have been easy. Seeing a team, as fancied as yours, getting knocked out of a showpiece event would make your summers quite hard to negotiate. But let’s not talk too much about next summer. Let’s talk about the present. It must be slightly unnerving seeing a team managed by the Clown. You couldn’t be blamed for it, could you? After all you were clamouring for a foreign manager, after the sacking of Sven. Or was it English? Bah! I forget. Let me start over. England, under the Clown, started brightly but then fizzled out thanks to some clowning around with the formations. (One might think clowning around to be but a natural progression for a… erm… clown) But then wouldn’t it be a little mean of us to be...
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Dear Fans, Hi. I'm Paul, but you can call me Mr Downton. You might remember me from the bank, which, regrettably for you, I no longer work at. You didn't meet me recently - I keep my interactions with people outside cricket as infrequent as possible - but earlier this week some of the gentlemen of the press started going on at me about public dissatisfaction and the welfare of the England cricket team. But what mattered to me wasn't public dissatisfaction or the welfare of the England cricket team; it was my pride and ego, so I didn't address those questions. Which is a shame, because the points you weren't able to make do actually deserve answers. Although not - and I can't emphasise this enough - as much as I deserve not to have to eat any humble pie, especially as it's been going...
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Dear Committee, Thank you for your open letter sent to me through the media so I have little alternative but to reply in the same fashion through the media. My solicitors have advised that I cannot meet with you, nor respond to the details of your open letter at this time, as I am in the middle of a legal action against your chairman, who has made serious, false, misleading and defamatory allegations against me personally, as well as against Karl which have been widely publicised. These allegations by your Chairman include: - Asset stripping Blackpool Football Club; - Misappropriating Blackpool Football Club funds; - Taking huge personal profits on land owned by Blackpool Football Club. These allegations are untrue. If your chairman had examined the accounts of...
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Dear MSD, Not many lads get a chance to play the gentleman’s game on a professional level, especially in a country like ours where every neighborhood is brewing the next Tendulkar. But Mahi, you proved that you are worthy to play the game at an early stage, and how heroically have you played since you started. Not only did you give a new ‘be cool’ outlook to the game, but also made sure that being cool brings the World Cup back to us. You played the mega event not once, not twice, but thrice! And with each passing World Cup, the name Dhoni became inseparable from the Indian cricket team. From being a regular wicketkeeper to becoming a vital cog in the batting order to being that guiding angel for the team, your efforts for the national cricket team goes beyond words. Back in 2011,...
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Dear Manchester City fans, Today I say goodbye to a magnificent club as it is Manchester City. I want to thank the club for helping me become a better footballer and for making me and my family feel at home during my time here. About a year ago Manchester City, a club that will remain in my heart, gave me the amazing opportunity to play in England. And for me winning the Premier League, Capital One Cup and scoring 23 goals in a season is a dream come through. After this year I can only say thank you to the club, to the fans that have supported me since the first day I wore this jersey and of course thank you and good luck to my team-mates, who helped me settle in since day one not only as a teammates but as friends. Today I say goodbye to Manchester City but I take with me...
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Dear fans, Following today’s announcement, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what has been a memorable year for all of us at Vancouver Whitecaps FC. It’s shaping up to be an exciting, challenging, and hopefully very successful 2015 season, and we can’t wait for First Kick at BC Place on March 7 against Toronto FC. I’m proud to be the head coach of this team, and I know I speak for the rest of my coaching staff when I say how delighted we are to re-sign with Whitecaps FC on multi-year extensions. When I sat down with the ownership and executive team at the beginning of last year, I told them I had a vision for this club – a philosophy of how I want us to play, how I want us to grow, and ultimately how I want us to win. We want to do things the right way, both on and off...
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Dear Rohit Sharma, India lost yet another Test match and like many other Indians I was also hoping that this new-look Indian team would do something great. Maybe not win, but at least show that they have the ability to play the longest format of the game for five days. I will be wrong if I say that there were no bright spots, for Murali Vijay with his century showed that he is most technical player in the team who at least knows where his off stump is and can play for long hours despite the heat. Other players like Cheteshwar Pujara, Ajinkya Rahane have also impressed. Umesh Yadav has also done well with the ball. But then when it comes to you I would frankly say that you have been a disappointment. It is very difficult to point out where you commit a mistake ,thus undoing all...
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Dear Fellow BYU Fans, I am taking a turn at the now popular “Open Letter” format to get some thoughts out. I don’t have the same pull or power as Derik Stevenson or Bryan Kehl, but I want to acknowledge that I appreciate both of their letters. Honestly, both make great points. While reading through the two letters, there were a number of facts that were presented on both sides that I found myself agreeing with, as I’m sure many other fans did. The point of my letter is to share that it is okay for the fan base to be conflicted; there is more than one solution to the current problem BYU faces. I see a lot of the opinions shared on sites like Twitter and Cougarboard, the most passionate portion of our fan base. But what I hate to see is the division that is created; many fans...
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Dear Ally, We’ve known each other a long time. Back at the start of the 1980s, we were on opposing sides in a match between Brighton and Sunderland – and both of us ended up on the scoresheet. We later shared a room on a golf trip to Las Vegas and will forever be linked by our mutual involvement in the events surrounding Rangers’ liquidation in 2012, something I could never have envisaged happening. There have been a lot of questions thrown up since then. I would like, therefore, to make a public appeal to you for answers. Answers to the questions that have left Rangers supporters dazed and confused throughout the events of the last 72 hours. To read on the morning of a crucial Championship match that you had tendered your resignation was unprecedented. To...
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