This is a letter to my single mom, so I guess that makes this a letter to my mom, dad, best friend, hero, and my greatest supporter. <3
Dear mama, I see you with your cut off blue jean shorts, and dark colored tank top on the back of the four wheeler on hill drive.. I couldn't have been 3 yet, but I was already your biggest fan. I remember how it horrible it felt when you'd drop me off at the growing child, not because I didnt want to be there but because I didnt want to be without you. When micah got added to our duo, we became a trio of which can never be replicated. I watched you do everything completely alone, and everything isn't an exaggeration. Though I may not have been the companion you had hoped I was never far behind you, prodding and poking, asking a million questions and being nosy. I can't remember you ever having the look of defeat, tired and stressed and pushed to no end yes, but you dug you're heels in deeper everytime another obstacle got in the way. I can remember thinking you must be able to lift a million pounds, and you can. maybe not physically but mentally, and emotionally I've never met anyone to smile everyday no matter what and keep going. when so many times giving up would've been so much easier. as I grew older, the struggles and obstacles didnt stop. we were do accustomed to making do with the little we had. but in hindsight we were living, growing and experiencing life with the love of a mother who lost her life to give us one. People have walked in and out on all of us time and time again, but the trio never got broke or even cracked. The older I got the more you became my hero. You worked 70 hours + a week up until I was 15. That doesn't seem like a lot to some but so many holidays & birthdays at work was where you were and that left me at home babysitting (which I'd never change). for years in a week we both probably slept 20 hours.. I'd wait up late because I couldn't wait to see you, and that's how it was for so long. You never once flinched or hesitated though, you always made it work. Not to mention all the phone calls to you at work for everything from bickering with micah to, me starting my period. and before either of us knew it micah was growing up so fast, and I can remember the tears he'd cry for his dad, my heart would break because my baby brother, who I helped raise, who we both loved unconditionally because he was a walking saint a angel was being heart broken by the man who helped make him. The first time that happened, I hurt so bad.. I knew that day that everyday, every trial, everything leading up to that must've been so hard and hurtful for you and I was only able to feel a bit of it now.. I knew that you were supermom before but I realized you sacraficed everything every ounce of who you once were to save the hearts of two innocent beings. thats the most selfless thing anyone can do. Through everything you taught me and micah countless, values, morals, and virtues. growing up in a "broken home" we're automatically labled as troubled or something of that nature but thats bogus. we felt every bit of pain and you took some of it away but we walked through the fire together. all of us. and we've come to terms with every problem we have faced. If I could be granted one wish it would be for you to be given back the life we accidentally took and for you to see yourself through our eyes. Theres no love deeper than the love we all share. had we walked a different road I wouldnt be the wonderful young woman im becoming because of you. I'll forever be thankful to you mom. I can't imagine any other life, but this one. they say you've got to be "old" to be wise, but you were wise so many years ago. I hope that you know how much me and micah love and still need you. That wont ever change. You've given me life and love and support and countless other things money cant buy and I just hope that this warms your heart a little bit and assures you that you've done so amazing in life. I love you infinity and beyond mama. I cant even think about the days I could be doomed to fsce without you behind me. You're my best friend. Our best friend. Me, You and Micah is forever.
