Dear Co-parent,
Perhaps you have our child, or children, every weekend. Maybe You even have them half the time, or even a little more than I. Regardless, you and I have gone to the law and for whatever reason, the law has used its formula, after pay-stubs have been submitted, costs of living most likely fudged on by both parties, hence making it equal, and an amount of child support has been determined, by the judge, not me, not my selfish money hungry ass, our judicial system.
Had I been able to look into the future, when given the option, I would have simply attached your wages. Not to be a jerk, but to avoid having to ever write a letter such as this one. You see, when I agreed to trust that you would make the payments on your own, you were so kind and appreciative. As we shook hands with the lawyers, I felt good. Yes, we are amicable, in agreement, hell were friends. Clearly, I had forgotten why we were there in the first place. A reason why we are not living together with our fence! A reason why one or both of us decided that putting our precious children through a separation was a better choice than the fence. Well I remember now, and I want to clarify a few things , so here t goes.
1. You do not "pay me". I am not on your staff, not in debt to you, not being paid. The law decided that for our children's sake, I need this amount of money to provide for our child.
2. At no point do I "spend your money on stupid shit You see, you do not pay me.
3. If I happen to pick up the child support payment on my way to get my nails done, I did not "take your fucking money to get my nails done". Again, you do not pay me.
4. If I happen to come to your home on my way to have a drink or dinner with a friend, I did not "use your money to go out drinking" I know this is a difficult one for you to grasp. So being the accommodating person I am in the future I will take your money directly to the the bank deposit it, go back around, and take a new 20 out of the ATM.
5. My financial responsibilities are "your problem" especially if you have decided against the court ordered agreement and I am having financial difficulties.
I would like to make it very clear to you, another issue you seem to be struggling with regarding what child support is, in general every payment you make, might not go towards things your children will ever see . What you contribute is not always tangible. I know, I know, this is a tough one. I will try to be clear.
I do not have the luxury of a roommate to split the bills with, as our child needs a room he/she is here 70 percent of the time. In addition, random men or woman can not inhibit the same home as our child.
I can not get a one bedroom apartment, therefore " my rents is your fucking problem" Once again, you may live with a different man/woman every year, your mom, a friend etc. But if I did that our children would be homeless for lack of better words.
Maybe you can crash at your moms for a month or 2, have a small place in a shady neighborhood, AWESOME. But I need to have a home for your children.. One where he or she has a room, a place for their things etc. So please, please, stop saying "You shouldn’t live there if you cant afford it" If I was you, and single 75 percent of the time, I wouldn’t effin live here!
I am going to wrap it up here, my blood pressure is rising but don't worry, I will not return our child because I do not feel well, nor will I return him/her when they get sick…….I am a parent
I hope this helps a little bit. Maybe now you will not make me beg like a dog or tell the world I am a gold digger.
Sincerely,
The co-parent who does more.
PS
If I go in your house, or wherver you reside, I know I will find the Ipod,Baseball pants, field trip form, and all the other missing items you sent back to me!
I
