To my partner's daughter

Subject: To my partner's daughter
From: Vicky
Date: 7 Apr 2015

I know that you wouldn't want to hear this from me but it needs to be said.
You are in a horrible position. To be put in the middle of your parents and having to choose is a situation that no child should have to be put in. However, i worry that you're choosing the wrong path.
You know that your mum and dad don't like each other, that isn't going to be a surprise. But what you need to remember is that you're only hearing your mum's side of the story. Both of them did things that led to them splitting up. No one's fault, just one of those things that grown ups do. I know your dad was devastated to leave you. That's why for the last 5 years he has done everything he can to see you and to be a good dad. He's paid your mum a lot of money every week since he moved out, despite what your mum says, because he wanted to. We moved to where we are now only so that you and your sister could have a room each and be near school. When i met your dad you girls were the only thing he talked about. He loves you so much!
What makes this situation worse is that you go back to your mum and tell lies. You know i didn't take that money off you, tell you off or any of the other things that you've told your mum. I've tried so hard to make a nice home for you all and to get to know you so that we can have a happy life. It really hurts me when you lie about it because what happens is your mum then shouts at us and then stops you seeing your dad. When it happened this time your dad spent 2 days in bed crying, he was devastated. I love your dad very much and it was really horrible to see him so upset. He may not have all the right words to express how he feels but as you will learn as you get older, men don't express their feelings the same way women do. But love isn't about money; it's being there for each other. Of course your dad has made mistakes, there is no one in the world who hasn't, including your mum. But he has never stopped loving you or putting your first.
I had a very bad relationship with my dad which ended when he died. I hadn't seen him for over 5 years and it will always be the biggest regret in my life that i pushed him away and I never got to say goodbye. That is pain I will live with for the rest of my life. You are at a stage in your life where you need both your mum and dad. Don't let your mum's feelings for your dad become yours. You will know the truth one day, things that aren't my place to tell you and you're not old enough to hear yet. Make your own decisions about your dad; let him be the part of your life that you both deserve
Vicky x

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