Lifestyle

Dear Pat, I have tried to contact you via the Royal Mail but they are under the illusion that Greendale is a fictional place – whats up with that?! You may find this letter a tad harsh but i feel i need to write to address you directly as your friends, family and colleagues seem unwilling or unable to give you any constructive feedback. Lets cut to the chase. You are crap at your job and I have absolutely no idea how you managed to blag your promotion to Head of Special Delivery Services. You consistently lose, damage and/or open parcels you have been entrusted to deliver which is both stupid and illegal. Before you protest i have listed a few examples of your incompetence that have particularly riled me. 1. You severely delay the start of Amy’s Animal Day after you open your...
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Dear Misters Harper, Ignatieff, Layton, and Duceppe, and Ms May: The Canadian Science Writers’ Association (CSWA) represents science journalists, communicators, publicists and authors—500 and growing. For almost a year now, the CSWA has pushed for changes in the government’s current communication policy to enable timely access to government scientists who have published studies and research in journals. We have documented numerous examples of instances where Canadian journalists have been denied access to government scientists doing research in areas of public interest. The problem is relatively new in Canada, although not unknown. It became critical with new rules and regulations instituted by the Harper government. The CSWA has attempted to work with high-level, senior public...
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Dear Virgin Atlantic Pilots, The very founding of Virgin Atlantic in 1984 was born out of an idea to reinvent the airline industry. To create an airline where the staff were united to offer a wonderful service to their customers. An airline with a special culture where the people working for it were treated well and where the company was responsive. It literally takes a lifetime to build that kind of culture well 27 years to be precise! And what a great airline everyone has created. The frightening thing is how quickly that culture can be lost. Therefore although I havent been involved with managing the airline for a number of years, as its founder I take a keen interest in its future, the future of its people and wish to make sure that no one makes a decision that damages or...
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Dear Giant Faceless Global Conglomerates, Hi, I’m Goob. You may remember me from such internal memos as “this loser keeps making fun of our dog perfume” and “does anyone know if we still have that hitman on retainer?” I’m here to ask that you, for the sake of my sanity, please stop announcing future freebie giveaways. Why? Because you screw them up. Here’s an idea: release a freebie then tip off a few bloggers. Seriously, it’s that easy. Hit me up. I’ll gladly put you in touch with two dozen of the biggest freebie bloggers who would love to share your offer with our combined billions of readers. ((margin of error: +/- a few billion.)) We’re all nice guys and gals who, myself excluded, ((I’m still going to mock you as long as you insist on botching these giveaways and branding your...
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Dear Representative Bachmann, Recent news reports have highlighted the work of your husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, President of Bachmann...
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Dear wedding photographers, I think you're swell but, as a whole, your websites suck. First of all, turn the freaking music off. Seriously. I'm probably looking at your site at work and it's hard to find the off button and I probably don't like the music you picked nor do I care since I didn't come to you for music. Don't do it — you're going to get a potential client in trouble! Secondly, it should not take 100 years for your site or gallery to load. The best way to ensure this is to NOT USE FLASH! And while we're on the subject of the gallery, how to move from one picture to another should be obvious to my grandmother and I should be able to peruse the thumbnails. I should also be able to use the keyboard or the scroller on my mouse to move through the pictures (...
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Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor, I don’t really like the word victim. Even survivor has a strange connotation. And I’m not too keen on victor. None of those words encapsulate what happened to you, the devastation sexual abuse enacted on your heart. But we’re strangled by language sometimes–even writers can’t adequately express horror. I much like the word BRAVE. Because it’s so darn brave to walk away from something like that. It’s brave to forgive. Brave to live your life in the wake of sexual trauma. Brave to hold your head high. First let me say I am sorry. I’m so terribly sad that sexual abuse is part of your story. It’s not right. Someone chose to take something from you–your volition and your body. That person (or people) violated you. They used their power and bully persuasion...
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Dear Thomas Patrick, On the occasion of your Confirmation I wish to offer the sage and time-honored advice of a saint. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, teaching on the Sacrament of Confirmation, quotes St. Ambrose, a bishop and theologian from the 4th century. His words are worthy of repeating here. My prayer for you, as your Godmother and Sponsor, would be that your reception of this important sacrament would mirror the words of St. Ambrose: Recall then that you have received the spiritual seal, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of right judgment and courage, the spirit of knowledge and reverence, the spirit of holy fear in God’s presence. Guard what you have received. God the Father has marked you with his sign; Christ the Lord has confirmed you and...
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Dear Kids, I’m doing the best I can. I know I’m not always perfect, but please know that I’m really trying to do the best I can for you. It may not always seem like it, but I promise you I am trying my hardest to keep all things balanced—kid time, family time, work time…really, just time in general —balanced. It’s all just one big heap of minutes and seconds that are flying by me as you get older and move closer to the gates of college. While it’s whizzing past me, please know these things: Just because we have cereal for dinner doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
 I know it’s not the best thing in the world to make, but sometimes after dealing with clients all day, returning a plethora of emails and fulfilling every business need that hits the front burner all I want to do is...
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Dear Governor Cuomo: During your third State of the State Address on Wednesday January 9, 2013, we very clearly heard the urgency in your voice when you spoke of “Ending the necessity of high capacity assault rifles” and as you pleaded with us to “End the madness now!” You were very emphatic as well when you urged us not to bow to the “extremists” and for us to “set an example for the rest of the nation.” How disappointing then was the report filed by Karen Dewitt just one day later on Thursday, January 10, 2013 which stated in part, “Governor Cuomo now says there is no timeline, for “when or if” a deal on anti gun measures will be reached.” On Wednesday you led us to believe one thing and on Thursday your remarks left us wondering if we can ever trust what you say. Waiting sends...
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