Let me start by saying i'm not perfect. Far from it. But i feel the meaning of family should be quite clear to most of us by the time we reach maturity. It should mean the people who you call family are supportive, caring, nurturing and kind.
That they respect you, should you respect them. I've always been the 'black sheep' in a way, sometimes feeling like an outcast in this herd of strangers. Perhaps that is somewhat my own fault, as i've always been fiercely independent and never asked for much.
My mother tells me all the time that i don't 'need' her, and maybe i should have let her feel needed more often. However, she happens to be one of those lovely and popular people who will do you the tiniest of favors and then spend the next ten to fifteen years making you feel guilty for it. Get a sweater for Christmas? You better be prepared to grovel at her feet, a simple 'thank you' is never enough. It really drives me ape-shit. I do things for the people in my family because i choose to, never because i have to, and usually quietly, and with little fanfare. They all seem to thrive on the drama i despise and so i distance myself from it, and them, as much as possible.
Another member i have a bone to pick with is my 'grown' daughter, who at twenty something years old seems to think that she knows all, and that i am somehow responsible for every crappy decision she's made in her life. I'll call her 'Kate' to save her some humiliation, although i shouldn't even give her that much consideration. She demands everyone respect her, yet is incapable of giving respect to anyone else. She screams obscenities at my husband, makes messes all over the house, refuses to care for her own toddler aged son, (assuming we will all take up the slack, i'm sure) and has even dropped to the low point of threatening physical harm to myself, my husband, and anyone else who pisses her off and flips her little bitch switch. She feels a sense of entitlement, and gives nothing back to the world at large. It sadly has come to the point where i have disowned her. In my mind, she's a non-entity, a stranger, not the tiny baby i carried and nurtured, the sweet toddler i played with in the park, the lovely school age child i was proud of. She's a stranger, an enigma, a source of pain. My dad always told me when he was alive that we deserve better than to allow toxic beings into our personal spheres, and he was correct. I'm old enough that i don't feel even a ripple of guilt for that. I never will, as she was given every chance to grow up and treat others with decency.
Moving on to my older brothers, who i feel have little to no interest in me and mine, being wrapped up in their own lives...i really don't know what to feel about them. They never call, rarely visit, and seem to me to be pieces of furniture, not human beings with feelings towards anything or anyone in particular. To cure the lack of family unity i have made my friends my family. These people care more for me than my own family ever has or will, and i give my love to them wholeheartedly, and with no reserve. I wish i was allowed to do so with the people who are supposed to be closest to me. But as the meme says, ladies and gentlemen.."I am done. I am so fucking done."