We were inseparable from the time I was born up until a few years ago. I remember when you worked out of town and I'd sit on the front porch for hours at a time until you got home. Seeing as how you and mom are divorced, I was always the sister that looked forward to your weekend the most. Jamey was always the one that always looked forward to moms, ya know, since she is a momma's girl.
I always used to consider myself a daddy's girl, and believe me, I still do but I miss you. I haven't seen you since my graduation..7 months ago. I'm heartbroken. I'm sorry that I don't come out anymore, but I do have my reasons. I hope you're understanding of my reasons. I am a full-time college student at Muskingum. Since I'm sure you aren't aware, I plan to graduate with a major in Psychology then go back to school for nursing. I am also a part-time Grocery Clerk at Kroger, where I work midnights. I work midnights to balance my school work and time with your granddaughter. It isn't easy; it's actually exhausting.
I want you to know that Makenna and I love you dearly. You may not see Makenna as much as we'd both like, but she knows who you are. I am constantly talking about you and I am always thinking about you. I also don't come out because I feel awkward out there and it is such a long drive. I'm not close with anyone but you and Jamey. There are other reasons but those will be left with me. Privately.
I feel as though you've been taken away from me. Our entire family has been torn apart and I hate it. It happened once Grandpa Mac passed away...almost 5 years ago. Unbelievable, right? I know he wouldn't stand for all of this, and that just makes me miss him more. So much drama has went on for the past few years and I've always been the one to remain in the middle.
Remember the accident you were in? The one that took your best friend's life and almost took yours? I was terrified. I almost lost the man that means the most to me. I almost lost my best friend. I always tell people that you've always been like a best friend, rather than a father. You may not like that but it is something I appreciate. There are some things that I highly disagree with but I can't change anything. I wish I could.
I miss and love you so much, dad. I'm sorry if I've let you down, but you've let me down as well. I hope that things change and I hope that things begin to look up soon. I miss my best friend.
