It never seems to fail. My parenting skills are often criticized. Friends and family alike start quibbling and with a grumble proclaim that my son "plays too many video games" and "watches to much T.V". They make insensitive comments like "oh, Luke really needs to lose weight" or "how is Luke doing on his diet", "is Luke exercising", "Luke really needs to stop playing video games and then maybe he will lose weight". Then there's the tactless comments such as "doesn't Luke have any motivation" or "is Luke, you know, slow".
Newsflash family and friends...my son is in the room with us!! My son is hearing every hurtful, damaging word you have said!!! Newsflash...your treatment of my son is reprehensible!
Why does my son play so many video games and watch T.V?? Well, let's journey back 6 years. Six years ago my Luke was a little peanut who was about as skinny as they come. My Luke loved to be outside. He rode his scooter all over the neighborhood. Luke played soccer and loved it! It was a challenge to keep Luke inside. Luke loved life.
Then the unimaginable happened. I had a stroke. I became ill in 2008. My now ex-husband left me and the kids in 2009 and our divorce was final in 2010. Life changed and Luke's zest for life faded. After doing my best to work all day, I had no energy to go outside with Luke and watch him ride his scooter and play with his friends. I was faced with several rounds of chemo and although I was fortunate enough to work from home, I was exhausted by the end of the day.
I could barely walk so day after day I told Luke to play his video games and watch T.V. while I rested. Day after day, year after year "I" told him to play his video games; "I" told him to watch T.V. I did the best I could.
With my exhaustion from the chemo, we often ate frozen dinners, made sandwiches or ordered take-out. Sure, when I first had my stroke, family and friends brought me and the kids meals, which was incredibly helpful. However after a few weeks, the meals stopped and it was just me and my kids. I was mom, I was the only adult, I was responsible for feeding my two children. We all gained weight because of the processed and fast food we ate during the years I was sick. Under the circumstances, I really did the best I could.
My son is now 13 years old. He still plays video games and hopes to work for a gaming company in the future. He doesn't have many friends and he keeps to himself. He struggles with depression, although when needed he will flash you a bright smile. He is often pushed aside and he often has to "wait" for things. I am still a single mom and I try my best to keep up with the never-ending bills. Due to financial constraints at the time, Luke hasn't had a birthday party for the past two years. Luke smiles through is, but then he hears that a grandparent has bought his sister a birthday present; but they didn't get anything for him this year. He says it doesn't bother him, but his face shows it does. Luke's bedroom is empty as it awaits the long promised "gamer themed bedroom" that doesn't seem to be insight. Yet he smiles and says "it's ok mom, I understand". Much like when he tells me "it doesn't bother me when people talk and complain about me".
Newflash...it does bother him, it does hurt him. Newsflash...he is only 13 years old and much of his childhood was robbed from him due to my illness. So next time you feel the need to be harmful and critical of my son, please direct your anger towards me. I am the one who got sick, I am the one who has failed as a parent, I am the one to blame. I am the reason my children's lives changed forever!
Newsflash...my son hears you, stop hurting my son!
