I knew when your dad and I first started seeing each other that things might get rough. Your parents had just recently divorced - a situation I had nothing to do with - and you and your sister were teenagers. While you were not necessarily hostile toward me, your sister, J, was. It was a situation that only worsened as the months went on and a mere ten days after our marriage, your father I were discussing all of this in a counselor's office. Over the years, I hoped that things would change, but they never did. You remained cool toward me and your sister cut herself out of her father's life. Nevertheless, I did appreciate that you always had a relationship with our twin sons, 'Rob' and 'Joe.' Even though there was a twenty-year gap between you and them, it was nice that you cared enough to spend time with them, taking the boys to Six Flags, miniature golfing, or just hanging out playing video games. When you moved to Florida last year, Joe, in particular, was incredibly upset that you (his idol) wouldn't be around anymore. So. . . it was great when you came to visit and spent time with them and attended the family reunion. It was even better earlier this year when they visited you in Florida and took them to dinner, boat rides, and a trip to Universal Studios. However, all of this changed in June when you came to see us again. On June 4, we suffered a devastating loss when our beloved pet was struck and killed by a car across the street from our house. Perhaps it was 'just a cat' to you, but all of us were grief-stricken. The following day - your last before returning home to Florida - you took my sons downtown to have lunch and to otherwise lighten the mood; Rob, in particular, was extraordinarily depressed. Later, he was in a panic when he could not find his cell phone or wallet. Can you imagine how much worse that sense of panic got when his twin brother called Rob's phone and someone answered that 'I've got your wallet and your phone and a bunch of money and I'm coming to get more!'? I then called the number and demanded the return of both before threatening to phone the police. After hanging up on 'Tyrone,' I did exactly that. Unfortunately, there wasn't much they could do except recommend that we cancel Rob's debit card and phone. By then, Rob was beside himself and his dad and I took steps to get in touch with his bank to cancel his debit card and were moments away from doing the same with his phone. This didn't happen in five minutes, but more than an hour before you sent a text to Joe to say that 'Tyrone' was your drunken friend - a nearly 40 year-old married man with children of his own. At the same moment your text came through, you were magically at the front door to deliver said phone and wallet. Why were you so shocked at Rob's angry two-word reply to this gesture? Last but not least, a sheriff's deputy showed up at our door later that evening to find out what had happened. Joe sent you a blistering e-mail about this matter, but got no response. Last week, more than three months afterwards, you had the opportunity to make things right at the annual family picnic, but you didn't. You blamed your friend, saying it had nothing to do with you and offered no apology whatsoever. You even told Rob that he'll 'understand' when he's older and has 'had a few.' Bottom line: you, your drinking, and your insensitive friend and his drinking is more important than your relationship with your brothers. I never thought I would feel so incredibly sad about this, but my anger has been replaced with a sorrow that can't be described; when I look at pictures of you and the boys, I want to cry. This is not about me or your dad - sick with cancer these past two years - who surely feels he's been put in the middle once more. This is about you, Rob, and Joe and a cruel 'joke' that put an end to your relationship forever. I don't know if it will ever be what is was or even can be what it was. All I know is the sadness I feel and their shock and disappointment with you. To anyone out there who thinks this is amusing, I beg you to think twice about your actions with others, especially family. Ask yourself this: Is it worth it?
