Dear new girlfriend,
I'm meeting you for the first time tomorrow. I'm sure you're just as nervous as I am. You're probably not sure if I'm going to come off as a bitch or throw my coffee in your face. I wish I could calm your nerves and tell you this will be a pleasant get to know you chat, but I can't.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty certain you will hate me after this meeting. You will feel as though I am invading your personal life and asking questions that are straight up none of my business. You would be right. But I hope that you, as a mother, will be able to see that I'm not doing this to be vengeful or mean.
I'd like to share something personal with you, perhaps he's already told you, but incase he hasn't. 13 years again I gave birth to a little girl who passed away at 12 days old. I never got the chance to be her mother. 5 1/2 years ago I had a miscarriage. I never got to mother that child. 4 yrs ago I became pregnant with my daughter. I went through so many test and doctor appointments, injections and sonograms. I love my little girl with a fierce passion. She is mine and I am hers.
From birth she was always by my side. It was harder than you'll ever know to sacrifice 3/4 days a week with her after the divorce. That being the longest time we'd ever been apart. It was hard on both of us. But it was nessicary so she would have time with her father. And now, a few months later we have gotten into a rhythm.
Please don't forget that I was married to your new boyfriend. I know all his short comings like he knows mine. I don't always trust his judgement and I fear that the same things that ended our marriage will end your relationship. I don't want women randomly coming and going from my precious daughters life. I don't ask these question to be mean, or to prove any point. I'm asking as a mother who loves her child and wants to ensure that she is always safe. I also ask as a mother who is scared. Scared to have any more missed experiences or life lessons.
I will admit to being a selfish mother also. I want to be the one to doctor and kiss all the scrapes and bruises that come. I want to be the one to read the stories at night. I want to be the one to see that look of accomplishment when she works up the courage to go down that big slide. I want to be the one who holds her when she crys.
So please, try not to take it personal. It's not. I don't hate you or dislike you. I'm just trying to be the best mother I know how to be.
