Our friendship may have lasted for only less than a year, but it was the best months of my entire life. I knew you before you ever moved to our high school, I was your first friend in this tiny town in which you moved. We did summer school together while you were up for the summer and may I say, it was a blast! When school started, the only reason I was happy was because you got to go to school with me. I was so happy that I would see my best friend in the hallways everyday and have classes with her..you.
I sacrificed so many things for you. I had many friends before you moved here that I shut out after you came. You were the only one I was focused on, the only one I wanted to hang out with.
We had sleepovers every weekend, hung out after school every day, and always told eachother everything.
I remember you were dating this boy and he made you so happy. I helped you out through the reltationship on the struggles and the joyous moments. I was your co-editor for most of your texts to him. For you, I did so much.
After a few months at school, you started to hang out with other people. I was completely fine with this, because it's not like I can tell you who you can and can't hangout with.
After homecoming and numerous girl 'dates', your boyfriend broke up with you. Throughout your relationship with him, I got to know him more than I ever had before. He became my friend too. After I saw two good friends break apart, it tore me in the inside too.
You told me multiple things and stories of which you guys encountered together and I was a fool. I believed them all, because you were my best friend. A couple weeks later, it started to become obvious we weren't as close anymore. We both had many mutual friends but were drifting away from eachother. We began to easily anger one another. We got in dumb fights, but always made up in the end. One day, me and two of our mutual friends took a walk. Your ex(my friend) invited us over to his house claiming that he and his friend were bored. Since he lived on my street, I thought it wouldn't be a problem. We stayed at his house and talked about many things for around 4 hours. The next day at school, you completely ignored me. Now, I can see as to how I deserve this. It is wrong to hang out with your best friend's ex boyfriend. Right?
But let me tell you, that while I was there, your ex told me things. Things that never came out of your mouth. You lied to me. You. Lied. To. Me. So many times. The reason I know that it isn't your ex who is lying is because he looked me straight in the eyes and told me you were a liar. Whenever you told me things, you looked up, always avoided eye contact because I could tell when you were lying. After this, we didn't talk much at all. We still said hi to eachother in the hallways and even shared a few laughs. It was never the same. I was always constantly trying to be there for you. Constantly trying to make sure you were always okay. I guess my caring wasn't enough. You pushed me. Away. You pushed me out of your life like I was a piece of garbage that you were using only when you needed it. In result to this, I stopped talking to you. As of right now, we still don't talk anymore.
In all, I'm not innocent. I'm very sorry for the wrong doings that I have commited on our friendship. I'm sorry that I also pushed. I'm sorry that I said I didn't care. I'm sorry that I didn't try to fix it. And I'm sorry for being the friend that wasn't good enough. But most of all, I have enourmous apologies for starting to have feelings for your ex...I know. This is bad. I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't dream about him every night. I wish that he was still yours. I wish that I couldn't trust him. I wish that he wasn't in all of my classes. But most of all, I wish that I didn't love him.
In all of this sadness, I am also very thankful. Thank you. Thank you for the amazing memories. The hilarious inside jokes. The great talks. Thank you for being my second family. Thank you for being there.
This friendship that we have is almost impossible to fix. It's broken but the pieces are still there.
I hope that one day we can reunite. Share a laugh. Hangout. Maybe one day there won't be tension when we make eye contact. But maybe there won't be that day. Maybe you don't care. Maybe you don't need me.
Until then, so long best friend. I hope you live a great life. I'll always think of you when our favorite song comes on or when I see something that reminds me of you. I'll miss you. So Thank you.
