It's been a little over a year since I have been wanting to put all my thoughts into words and never thought I would. I'm not a story writer, a publisher, or anything along those lines but I do believe I can tell the truth and how I feel. After so many thoughts, battles and fights I decided it's time to speak how I feel through an open letter for everyone to read and not just "hear" through others.
My name is Anthony and I am a father of two beautiful babies. Jackson Dugas, born on February 18th, 2013 (3 yrs old) and Meiah Dugas, born on February 13th, 2014 (2 yrs old). In the past three years the Mother and I have bounced up and down so much as parents that it has become too stressful to even bother anymore. I have been bashed online over so many lies and it does nothing but hurt the kids in the long run.
The Mother of my kids has kept me from my kids off and on for their whole lives now. Its been almost four years since my son was born and there hasn't been a solid six months where I haven't gone without hearing "If you don't do this" or "You better not start with me because the court has my side" and it truly hurts. I love both of my kids with every bit of my heart. I would give up everything I own, shut my life away and take five thousand bullets in the chest before I see my kids upset. KIDS ARE NOT PAWN OBJECTS.
Whenever we fight my biggest fear is she will use the kids against me and say "You blew your chance good luck seeing your kids". I know this post will start a massive argument and I'm sure it will escalade to her bashing me online but I am finally exploiting the truth and how I truly feel as a parent. It's not easy being a parent and I can promise it's harder being a parent with someone who will not allow you to be the best parent you can be. My kids ask for me daily and how do I know this? She has sent me videos of my kids pretending to be on the phone with me and talk about how much they love "Dada's House".
We have had a VERY bad relationship in the past but that should never be used against me in my kids lives. I have cheated on her, insulted her and told her how much I hated her but she has done the exact same to me..I just can be the one to admit it. Whenever we fight she will bring up those three things I did to her and then say "This is why you're an unfit parent" and tell me I cannot see my kids. Not only do I suffer but so does my family. My father has given her food, a car, advice, and much more yet she keeps him from the kids as well. I cannot stress this line enough that kids are not pawn objects and will see in the future how much this has damaged their lives.
I didn't make this for you to hate me and I sure as hell didn't make this to start a war, I simply made this to show you how much I love and miss my kids. Jackson and Meiah are my entire world. They are my pride and joy. Every morning I wake up and hope to god you send me a text or call me just to say "Lets drop all this and do the right thing". Please see the meaning of every sentence and realize that we are parents and no longer relationship enemies. We are divorced and should never have to worry about anything like that again except for the well being of our two beautiful children.
As a PARENT you should always have rights to see your children as long as you show that you want that right to be a parent. Some parents out there want nothing to do with the life of their child and those don't deserve the title "a parent". As for myself, I know a few friends that suffer through the pain I have in the past couple years and I hope that this message gets out to the public majorly and shows other parents that you are not just hurting the "other parent" but you are also murdering the feelings of your child.
