As I lay here watching our 4 month old sleep, with her hands above her head and her occasional snore, all I can think about is how deeply I pity you.
I pity you for the fact that you're missing out on this. Together, you and I created the absolute most amazing thing on the face of this earth. She is beautiful, and she is already so so smart. Not every day is perfect, and I can guarantee that no day is easy, but she makes absolutely every day worth living.
I pity you for the fact that you don't know how it feels for her eyes to light up as soon as she sees you. Sure, she'll giggle at you when you visit, and yes sometimes you can console her when she's not feeling well but, at the end of her very worst days, even if you tried to be there for her, she's going to want me.
I pity the fact that you prioritize things over her. No parent should ever do that to their child. No one should make their child an option. She should be your number one choice. I resent you for the way she's going to feel one day when she realizes that you're friends come first. Don't even get me started on your job. I know, you have to work, but what kind of man blows off the fact that his child is sick in the hospital to make sure he keeps a perfect attendance record?
I pity the fact that you've chosen to miss all of her firsts thus far. Where were you for her first bath, her first doctor's appointment, her first out of town trip, all of her first holidays, and most recently her first taste of baby food? All of the dates are completely insignificant to you.
Mostly, I pity you for the fact that you will never be able to look into our daughter's eyes and see how much she loves you. She may not want you on her hardest days, but this little girl thinks the world of her daddy, and that will never be enough for you because she has nothing of physical value to offer you. All she has is a heart full of love that she readily gives.
Chances are, one day with your selfishness you will hurt my baby. On that day, my pity for you will be 100% dead. On that day, I promise you, I will never be nice out of pity for you again.
