It's said there are 3 types of people one should never forget. Never forget those who put you in difficult times, those who left you in difficult times and those who helped you in difficult times. One person who helped put me in difficult times is my own n updated mother. At one point my mother added my name to the deed to her house which she had taken a second mortgage ou ton same when I was in high school. When my mother told the credit union she'd transferred the 2nd mortgage to, she was told to bring me in because I needed to sign some paperwork. This 'paperwork' was presented to me as 'mere formality' that allegedly reflected my name being added to my mother's deed. When I had the deed reversed to its original form in 2013, I sent an updated copy of the deed to the credit union. But, when my mother defaulted on this loan, the credit union came to me for payment The 'paperwork' the credit union misrepresented to me as merely reflecting my mother adding my name to her deed was actually co-signing for a loan my mother took out nearly 20 years prior. Ultimately, a cousin my mother grew up with would pay the credit union the amount they stated was owed.
This very same cousin could shell out some $23,000.00 and buy this property, but when I asked him to talk with my mother he couldn't find the time. I knew my mother and this particular cousin had been close when they were younger and I felt he could help my mother see that - while I was helping out to the best of my ability - I couldn't go on with things as they were in the household. I also asked two other cousins and my mother's so-called best friend to try and reason with my mother. My mother only paid one bill for the household and wouldn't offer to help me pay the other bills for the household; it was just the two of us living in the house. I wasn't able to save any money for an emergency fund. It was frustrating and I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I finally got the courage to move away from this situation in 2013, shortly after having back surgery. Fast-forward to 2016. Tomorrow I will be turning 45 and I haven't done many of the things I wanted to do. I thought by now I'd be settled in the career of my choice, married with a child/children and a K-9. I thought that, by now, I would have travelled extensively; I haven't. So far I have a constant K-9 companion. However, I never pursued my passion in life because of my mother. My interests were in design (interior) and photography, but that wasn't what my mother thought I should go into as a career. Anything I was interested in was shot down by my mother. My mother went so far as to take me around to talk with someone who would tell me my 'dreams' were unrealistic.
As usual, I acquiesced and went to college and got a degree in nursing; as my mother wanted. My mother always had a way of manipulating me and - being a people-pleaser - I usually fell right in line with her demands, no matter how miserable it made me. My mother is the type of woman who always has to have her way and thinks her way is the only 'correct' way of doing things. I've come to the conclusion that there's no pleasing my mother; she frequently takes and rarely gives. But, I learned that painful lesson later in life; after being drained of my physical well-being and most of my finances. While many of my peers were getting married and starting their own families I was taking care of my mother who - in 2000 - sustained a back injury. During this phase of my life I worked - both inside & outside the home - to the point of exhaustion. I did this until my own back injury - resulting in chronic, intractable pain - made it impossible to do so. I now find myself having to rebuild my life at 45, and quite honestly, it scares me. I've been offered a job with a well- known mutual insurance company as an insurance agent. The training is six days per week for three years. One concern I have is the fact that my chronic, intractable pain drains my energy/stamina. Another concern I have is that this position is a commission-based salary and I've never worked on commission. Several people at this company have told me that it took several months before they received their first paycheck. Since I have no emergency fund I'm very concerned. I wish I knew then, what I know now. I wish I had the courage to pursue my passion earlier on, in spite of naysayers.
