You are NOT a victim, as you pretend to be. You put yourself in that situation by witholding information pertinent to the family. How would you like it, if we didn't tell you that your Dad was dying? Let alone the TRUE nature of it. If your grandmother had been hospitalized SINCE SUNDAY, and YOU call me at midnight,3 days later, wake me up to tell me that my mother had a HEART ATTACK AND a Stroke, she will NOT be going back home, and withold the rest of the information, leaving me to wonder for 31 hours what is going on? Then YOU YOURSELF are responsible for the outcome of events. You Withheld the information..NOT US! And WE DO have a right to KNOW about OUR MOTHER at any time.
You passed on a text to your Dad a year ago stating that your grandmother had LIVER cancer and her surgery was April 26th. ( Here is your original text : So more test on gma will be done on april 10th and if she doesnt have cancer in her liver they will so a surgery on april 26th) . Now we come to find out from ANOTHER source ( not you ) that MY mother has Breast Cancer and has been taking Oral Chemotherapy medications? How are we to believe anything that is said, when the truth is never told? I mean seriously, I LOST time with my own father because the TRUTH was never told UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE!
You seem to think that I had NEVER tried to call my mother. I called for months on end to her NEVER answering the phone. I would leave dozens of messages on her machine to have it NEVER be answered. I NEVER changed my phone number the WHOLE time I have lived in QUEBEC. She tried to call your Dad ONCE for his birthday, and as soon as he said HELLO, she hung up and told you yet ANOTHER lie stating that he told her she had the WRONG NUMBER. She even called me at work several times, even though I told her that I couldn't talk to her while I was working, to tell me about her motorhome being sold, bills being paid off, etc. So don't tell me she doesn't have my phone number.
You seem to think you are a victim in all of this because you chose the wrong side of the family. Remember your own statement when you left RED? " All my firends say it's because I have a longing to fix people" They weren't wrong, and that's your problem.
Rest assured, spending one week with a family, does NOT constitute as being a family. A phone call once a week, does NOT constitute as being a family either. You know NOTHING about them, how their mannerisms are, the lies they tell daily, or the drama they create on their own, while once again claiming to be a victim. Yet when I point this out to you, you threaten me with witholding my grandson from me?
Example number 1:
And as far as family is concerned punkin..you are very much on the outside of it. Look at it. Your grandparents have never met Jordan, your uncle and aunt met him for the first time THIS YEAR because of us. He got to see cousins etc. And why? He's 6 yrs old already. That's not being family. Yeah WE took him..AGAIN OUR EXPENSE and OUR time. But he's our grandson and deserves to know his family..not these drop ins that you call friends that do NOTHING for you or for him.
Dont start with me again
You had a great month with your grandson? Do you want to happen again? Dont go there with me
Chat Conversation End
Sent from Messenger
The ONLY one who is going to pay for this is YOUR son. NOT ME! You think that is FAIR to your OWN son? You say you love him? Treat him like you do. As many fights as I have had with your grandmother and your Aunt, Rest assured, I NEVER witheld you or your brother from them. I mean your OWN boyfriend admitted that you two sit beside each other, one at the TV, the other with the Ipad and NEVER talk to each other or pay attention to each other. We also saw this many times throughout his 6 years of life.
Did you forget the reason why I had JORDAN for the month? Because I did you a favour! Yes, that's right. I did YOU a favour. Remember, you couldn't afford to have Jordan home for the summer because daycare was too expensive? Yet let me get this right. You had money to go on shopping sprees, freedom to go out for dinner almost EVERY day..SNAPCHAT proved that, AND go out to Alberta on vacation. The reason WHY you wanted to save money in the first place right.
You say you would NEVER abuse your son? Maybe not PHYSICAL but the EMOTIONAL abuse you will and have been putting him through is enough, as witnessed by your SNAPCHATS while Jordan was with us.
Example 2:
Hey
hey
Whats up?
nm, catching up with old aquaintances
I C
youÉ
lying on my couch.. hurt my back so i cant go to work
si ive heard
Kk
sucks gettingold don`t it?
Lol nah
Dont laugh man.. ur only 2 yrs younger than me
yeah and im startin to get the creaks
Yeah
Ok so i know u probably dont want to hear anything abt ur situation but.. u know i have to stay something
I really think you should just do whatever is in ur best interest jordan
Wow why did i write jordan? Lol!!
still got mama brain
Anyways u know what i mean
I dont know ur girlfriend i wont pretend i know anything
i know. im taking time away from her so she can think. we kinda jumped into a relationship neather of us were really ready for
But if ur not good in that relationship then its not worth staying... i know we grew up being abused but i want u to know its not something thats normal
i don't let myself get abused. she just went off hte deep end in frustration over me not being able to help her with her incom atm
soyeah. a big fight about money
Well Tony can u blame her?
Really?
Its not that ur not able.. u just wont..
Thats the difference
i have been working my ass off since i moved out. noone fucking gets that. im tired and want some fuckin me time.
U know what tony?! I have been working my ass off since im 14.. so u r preaching to the worng choir
U have responsibilities.. u r an adult
When u are an adult there are no breaks and time for urself
Dont u think i just want to be off work all the time and relax and chill with my friends and go on vacation?
and i handle those pretty well most of the time. and that is bullshit unless you have kids. then there relly is no time for yourself. im not content at being another number in society like some people.
But i have thinks to pay.. a child to raise
Well tony you have to wake the fuck up really... u cant be living like a bum on the street.. u r just gonna die like that
its not about dumping my reponsibilities. i can still feed myself and pay what needs to be paid most of the time
Most of the time
It needs to be all of the time
U cant count on anyone besides urself in life
i can survive better on the street that in a appartment tbh. something i have done before btw
U put extra stress on ur gf with that mentalotu6
she has the same mentality
Mentality*
Obviously not anothony
Or she wouldnt be so pissed
she travelled quebec with her pit hitchiking place to place living in abbandoned buldings before getting a paid appartment
that is another half of our argument
Dude.. do what u want.. but thats not a way to live.. seriously.. u r so smart and have so much potential
U could be getting even more EI if u sign up for a DEP.. u dont even need to finish ur high school..
Ok like atleast if u dont want to work.. go make a difference... join a church and go do some missionary work... travelling the world.. its paid for by the church. . U will be helping other ppl ... atleast something productive with ur life.. experience something
and i use my potential to not become another sheep in society. something me and her were trying to do together. i prefer to survive than to live of societies teat. but that is a mentality you just don't seem to grasp because you have worked hard for your place in society
and i have been an urban missionary for a year btw
helping kids, teens with familly issues, homeless, punks...
my old appartment was a shelter where anyone could have a bed to sleep on nomather the background. i gave myself selflessly only to get stolen from.
my ex met me when i was still helping people... and it pisses her off that i wont help her.
Alright Anthony.. u are right its not something i understand but what i do understand is that is that the lifestyle u chose you should not be bringing anyone down with you.. if you chose to live like that you shouldnt be calling mom and dad for help..
You have to help ppl within ur means.. not to the point that it breaks you.. and you need to learn this
i rarely ask for mom and dads help btw. but i am happy to have someone there when things go to shit.
Exactly.. at ur age you should be able to stand on ur own...
Who does it help that u cant afford to live for the simple things
also somthing you don't get: mom and dad were always willing to help you within their means. being an adult doest only mean being able to do everything on your own. its also being able to accept that you sometimes need help in life.
U want to live for urself but u cant seem to do it by urself.. im not saying these things to piss you off tony.. dont get me wrong.. im tryin to advise you of the logic
Well the thing is I dont need help.. bcua i hussle and do it on my own.. i can buy a car on my own . Buy a house on my own... pay for my vacations on my own . And i dont ask anyone for anything
i was living for myself these past 4 years. it didn't work out. i needed help so i went to one of the few bridges you burned and i did't. being mom and dad. and if that works for you good for you
some ways of life arent for everyone.
if you tried to live like i did you would be dead and vice versa
Mom and dad also want to help.. but sometimes they dont do it within their means.. and thats why they are in their situation. .. and when they need help im there for them too Really? You boughtus paint and a fridge ..which we paid back..a few times over now. And We DON'T fraud people, governments, banks, and insurance companies to get what we want..that's why we end up over budget.
I didnt burn any bridges with mom and dad... if they need me im here.. and they know that.. just bcus i dont count on them doesnt mean i burned a bridge with them Yeah you did, the day that you decided to ignore your immediate family and put all your FAITH and trust in people who continually lie and abuse you behind your back.
Im stronger than u think... dont think insulting me will get u anywere
you live more a high paced life based on materialism and consumerism. i live a life of survivalism and instinct. both ways are valid but dont neccecarilly work for everyone
i have asked for help from mom and dad twice in 4 years
Yes but if ur life works for u.. truly works for u.. u dont need to count on anyone for help.. that is not what u r understanding.m Counting on people..the RIGHT people is NOT a bad thing..USING them is. That, my dear, you need to learn the difference and why GOOD people count on OTHER GOOD people.
If mom and dad werent there.. what are u gonna do?
How well would ur lifestyle be working for yoy?
You*
sometimes survival depends on those you keep around you. sometimes you cant survive on your own. sometimes you need help. thats what you dont understand. Tony get's it. Why can't you? Oh yeah..use them and abuse them then toss them away like they are nothing right?
No thats what u dont understand... u cant count on anyone besides urself in life
And the faster u understand that the better
that is a sad way of thinking based on your own feelings of mistrust
If i gave u 10k right now tony u would be off buy urself a whole bunch of shit u dont need.. so dont tell me ur not materialistic
Not mistrust.. reality
as long os you dont ABUSE someone you can rely on someone and they can rely on you. this is the basis of any relationship.
it is the concept of TUST
trust*
Tony's got a great point. Those like you and your attitude usually die alone and lonely.
This is why ur still living with ur gf right?
U know why shes upset? Bcus u abused of the system... And you became a relationship expert for your brother and everyone else when? You don't even know her. YOU can't be bothered by knowing anyone other than to benefit you.
she couldn't rely on me because i wasn't sure if i could rely on her. i wasn't ready to commit my trust to someone else to get screwed over again.
Wow...
cold i know
U know u contradict urself to convinve urself ur right.. just re read our whole conversation
i contradict my values regularly just to please others
I know ur still young tony... but there are limits to everything
i contradict my values just to keep mom, dad and you in my life. i generally dont like people who overconsume, waste and work only to fullfil their "needs"
to put things in perspective: i have been living in a place with no internet, no celll and no tv. basically no outside contact. i allows you to see society at face value. i have lived in musty appartment with holes in the wall and moldy sinks and been happy with a roof over my head. i was hapy alone and i tried being happy with someone else and it didnt work because although i understand many things, i lack motivation and trust to put what i know into practice
thats why i had to "run to mom and dad" as you say. because sometimes you cant always rely on just yourself
sometimes it takes someone to pick you up when you fall down. i am happy for you that you may have never fallen in your life.
but with your self centered attitude...dont expect people to pick you up when you fall.
Lol ill take my self centered attitude and leave u alone little bro. Just so you know ur attitude has not gotten you anywhere.. i hope you have a happy life Because the younger one is right and the older one just keeps getting herself stuck in misery by her own doing.
That conversation you had with your brother told me all I needed to know about how you think. Then you come back to me when confronted about the abuse saying that I pulled you up the stairs by your hair. OK, where? What PLACE did we have STAIRS that I could pull you up? I mean on Passereaux, we had stairs, but they were winding and NEVER could two people EVER fit on those stairs..Every other house we had, had NO STAIRS!
So lets move on to LOYALTIES shall we?
You don't have any. If you did, you wouldn't be bad mouthing your best friend behind her back on a daily basis. Yeah that's right! Have you EVER heard a bad word come out of our mouths about OUR best friends? No, you haven't! Do we spread rumours about our BEST FRIENDS like you do? No, we NEVER have. For example: Alice lives like a pig and can't clean up her house, that's why she's divorced AGAIN. I go over to her house and spend hours cleaning up her place. And then when she comes to visit you, all you and RED can do is complain about how she sleeps all day, doesn't clean up after herself, and you don't like having her there because of it. Let alone the lies and secrets you two think you have between each other. HMMMMMM like sleeping with Cedrik when she was 16 or 17 while her parents were away? Long BEFORE they ever got married? Hmmmm how would I know that right? But I kept that a secret for years from Doug and Doris. Don't want to ruin an image of a perfect little church going angel. But No, you blurted that out one too many times. We have NEVER said a bad word about JF and Josee..EVER! Or Kevin and Wanda. Or Skye. Or Crystal. Or Terina.
Your Dad and I warned you many times at Tim Hortons while you were here a couple years ago to change your attitude, getting in the middle of things, and creating more drama than should be. But you seem to think you are an angel of mercy. Your loyalties are NOT for your immediate family, your best friends, or anyone who SHOULD be close to you. Your loyalties rest with those who create drama, are easy ONE TIME partiers and shoppers, and family you think you know well. Which comes to the conclusion that you CRAVE the drama..because you do by putting YOURSELF in the middle. Yes, that's right! You CHOSE to be where you are at. Which brings me to my next point.
How well do you REALLY know what's been going on? How well do you REALLY know your family? Do you know WHY your grandmother is so HELL BENT on keeping us OUT of the family? I mean everything was OK between us until I told her that I had been spending time with my sisters. A TRUTH your grandmother wants to keep hidden. It's too bad that ONLY ONE sister of hers is STILL ALIVE to confirm everything. But your grandmother will have to answer for ALL of her lies when she needs a place to go...and at this point..it won't be the pearly gates. She will HAVE to answer for it.
Did you KNOW that your grandmother abandoned my sisters at the age of 1 and 2? Probably not. She will NEVER admit to it. Ask yourself this question. What FATHER in 1961 got FULL custody of HIS children? That's right...NONE without extreme circumstances. And NO, it's NOT a lie. You can find ALL the records in the SANGUIDO court house and records. Your grandmother was too busy partying and drinking to care about raising any children. Do you KNOW what that does to a kid being raised by their Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother and any other relative that will have them feels like? Mother NEVER came back ONCE until they were 9 and 10 when I was born. Then my sisters moved back in to My mother and FATHER's house in PMQ's in Edmonton to TRY and get a fresh start and relationship going. Yeah, that came at a hefty price. That was child abuse in the worst form. They weren't treated as children, not even step-children while my dad was away. They were literal slaves. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of me 24/7. Why do you think all my baby pictures are with my sisters and not my mother? Except maybe ONE? Even then, it was Uncle BOB taking care of me. Then one night, we got broken into by a gang of thugs, my sisters did their best to get them out of our house. It was considered a PARTY! I was 4 and had to testify to my parents, police, and to neighbors that my sisters DID NOT have a party that these kids broke in. THAT was THE TRUTH. My dad came home and beat them so badly that they ALMOST DIED from the injuries. ALL because of a lie my mother told EVERYONE. My sisters packed up and moved back home to their aunts and uncles again. For their own safety. A court date for custody came. My PARENTS didn't even bother showing up. AGAIN, tossed away like they were nothing. No apologies, nothing. No amends have EVER been made except from my sisters. Even as far as my mother lying at my wedding to your father as to what was actually said. Believe me, when I finally got the TRUTH from other people who WERE THERE and heard the whole story, that's when I KNEW my sisters had been misjudged and the TRUTH has been hidden for so long. Pretty sad my mother could use my brother in-laws for parties and drinking until Jeff's parents put a stop to it. Use my sister for a place to crash when they had appointments in Edmonton, send me to stay with them ALL summer long, to get me out of their hair and save money, and NOT ONCE be thankful for it? Only complain that my NIECE and NEPHEW were too noisy because my mother was ONCE AGAIN nursing a hangover? Yeah great parenting there mom. But HEY, too bad these people are STILL ALIVE to confirm it all huh? Everyone ELSE is lying right? Never mind all the evil things my mother has done to me, the DALE family and the DION family right? Oh let's just forget that shall we! NOT ON YOUR freaking life. I've had to learn to live my life with all the memories. But yes, SHE WASN'T ALWAYS evil. ONLY WHEN she was DRINKING. Too bad that was almost every day. And you wonder WHY we hate alcohol and drinking? Better make that tea and toast, dress your sister, get her ready to play by herself in the house with NO supervision, and if she dared follow me to school, I would get the strap at home for not making sure she was not following me. Then have The Principal of the school call child welfare on many occassions because mom would show up drunk at the school to pick up her unsuervised child that a 5 yr old was responsible for.
But let's move on to you shall we?
YOU CHOSE to move to Toronto. You CHOSE to be in an abusive relationship. YOU CHOSE the life you live that isn't perfect and based on materialism. Hence the attitudes everyone gets, your STRESS level, and the reason you left him in the first place. You dated someone else for a couple months, but spent EVERY WEEKEND with RED. And you don't think he (Dwayne) had a right to be angry? But OH, you wanted to stick it to RED and you are STRONGER THAN we think. Oh you mean WEAKER than we know, because you only went back to have a life again of commercialism and materialism. Hey, LOOK WHAT I HAVE that you don't. Again, bank fraud, insurance fraud, government fraud, all come to mind on all your current scams.
I mean look at your own son. Mami and Pappy don't have a SMART TV, we have LIMITED Wi-FI where he can't spend 20 hours a day streaming SPONGE BOB ( which is not something for kids to watch AT ALL ), He argues ALL the time..a learned behaviour from his own FATHER. He tries to show off with something he knows NOTHING about because that's what HIS PARENTS do, has limited language skills, just learned to wipe his own butt, but hey, he's your ONLY child and is sheltered and ignored too much. Let's just give him an Ipad and tell him to get out of your hair right? As long as he's NOT bugging you. Hey, his OWN words to EVERYONE while he was here. And now even more proof from your boyfriend. I told you he rats you two out ALL the time. Besides, that much is apparent when you tell him NO, he can't have something. Especially when it belongs to Maxime or another kid, but he wants it sooooo bad. Hence, the star chart was born, so he learns what earning something is, not just freely given to him to SHUT him up. RED wouldn't stop hurting him with a girl, or threatening to take his toys away...NOOOOOOO that's NOT EMOTIONAL ABUSE at all, is it?
Then we come back to the point where you USE people. Especially US!
Remember LAST JULY 2015 when you NEEDED us to come up to take care of JORDAN because his OWN FATHER REFUSED? Yeah, even though he was IN Toronto, he REFUSED to take care of his OWN son because it was RAMADAN. Piss poor excuse NOT to look after your own kid. But I'll PAY for your gas here and back home. We're STILL waiting on that one. Let alone the 4 days we spent our OWN holiday money on him because staying in your dinky little place that wasn't even big enough to fart in wasn't an option. We even had to buy our own inflatable bed because your bed was way to hard for anyone's back. Let alone you needed a ladder to get into it. Then you said you were going to call Jordan EVERY night before bed. You called ONCE...the first night. The rest of the time you didn't answer your phone when we texted and were too busy getting drunk. You even showed back up home STILL DRUNK and ignored Jordan the whole time until we decided to heck with it and went home early. No THANK YOU, NOTHING. But I got a bunch of insults. That's what I got. 2016-08-30
Then there's THIS JULY 2016.
Mom can you take Jordan for the month of July? I can't afford daycare. Of course I will take lil man for you. I would love to get to know my grandson, who wouldn't? I mean, I ONLY get a couple days a year with him. Not like the time I get to spend with Maxime, a grand daughter that isn't mine, but treated like she is. Something that I've seen and heard how jealous you all are over that relationship. But hey, when you have something that isn't complicated and is fun without strings, you tend to spend more time with the ones that REALLY appreciate you. However; the ONLY reason you wanted me to take care of Jordan is so you didn't have any responsibility, could go on extravagant shopping sprees ( that much was apparent by all the new purchases you just HAD to show us on SNAPCHAT ), and fund a vacation you wanted. Not like you couldn't afford a vacation, a new car, a new house, and many other extravagancies. As you sooo pointed out to us and your brother. What did mom and dad get from it? Oh thanks mom and dad, now go fuck yourself. Oh BTW, I REALLY wanted my FONDUE PARMESAN. Not any word said about Jordan. NOT ONE! Not if he liked his vacation..NOTHING of that sort. I even had to text and phone YOU to ask if Jordan and Alice made it there ok after 10 hours. But hey...FONDUE PARMESAN was the priority right? Get this...I even had to pay my mother 20 dollars a day to take care of you when I was working and once your brother came along it was 30 dollars a day and even then, I HAD to supply the food.
When did you become so materialistic? So shallow? So commercial?
But yet, YOU CREATE the drama, then blame it on everyone else. Just like when you got called out on it with my sister. But NO, Elnora is a bitch right? EVERYONE who knows you knows what YOU do to US. NOT what they choose to see from ONLY your point of view.
Then today, you and your brother decide that I am greedy, need to get over myself and my anger, and just get along with everyone who has ever done me wrong in that famiy just to appease you both? You forgot that when I got a phonecall from that same sister who lies continually taht she got beat up by her husband and needed a place to go that WE, your Dad and I maxed out a credit card for flights, food, and partying for that same sister to come to Victoria and lie some more to EVERYONE who would listen . Then because she wouldn't pay us back the money she was supposed to, decided to LIE again, and get her husband to hate us..no great loss there, but he could at least hate me for the right reason, not a bunch of damn lies she told.
Not only have I walked away from my fathers death with nothing not even a memory thanks to my sister and my mother, but I have walked out of every bloody situation like this with nothing, just to appease your asses. Even my last marriage. So don't call me greedy for a 20 dollar ring that I got from my mother. Which has absolutely NOTHING to do with why this whole conversation came about that once again, is completely made up in someones head, and it sure in the hell isn't mine.
So you want to continue to play the victim and not own up to your responsibility in all of this?And withold or threaten me with my grandchild? Here's a list of things WE ( your Dad and I both ) consider you owe us for being a pain in YOUR ass and being ungrateful beings.
Daycare for the 4 days we watched Jordan in 2015: $ 120.00 for gas to and From Toronto, 4 days of babysitting at Toronto rates, $90.00 dollars a day = $ 360.00, Toronto Zoo fare: $ 70.00 total, but $18 just for Jordan, Science Center: $19 just for Jordan, Chuck E Cheese: $ 40 just for Jordan, Birthday gifts: $100 including his pinata. Not telling us the truth from the start that you weren't going to be there...PRICELESS. Something your ex boyfriend confirmed at the time and you laughed off like it was nothing. You have a way of witholding information. For a total of $657.00 not including all the meals out or the EXTRA toys and treats Jordan got while we were at the zoo and Science Center.
Daycare for the month of July 2016: $ 2000.00 based on Toronto rates. Food: $100.00 and that's 1/6 of the bill for the month not including what SNACKS you bought him that he never ate. Camping: $140.00, Racing - free, Recreofun: $12, Movie: $8, Crayons, coloring books, craft supplies $50.00, and a multitude of other expenses we incurred while he was here. And I am NOT including the internet usage that he maxed out in 3 days. For a total of $2310.00
You will have 30 days from the DATE of this letter to repay what you owe us for our INCONVENIENCE as you put it. OUR DRAMA as you put it.
DO NOT threaten me.
