Mom and Dad,
I'm not sure if those names really fit you guys anymore. For me, a mom and a dad have always been people who love unconditionally, people who see past your flaws, people who accept you for what you truly are, no matter what that may be. I was raised in a suburban two parent household, I never went to sleep hungry or without a "Goodnight, I love you". Now, sitting in the bathtub crying after a conversation with you, I don't see the mom and dad who showered me with praise and love after even the smallest of accomplishments anymore. I see the people, the strangers, who from the comfort of their bed just told me they didn't love me anymore.
There is a backstory of course, no parent would take back their love for no reason. Right now, I am home for the final days of my Winter Break from college, I just finished my first semester with an almost perfect GPA. At school, I let the new social scene get the best of me and I lost control. My parents were told about my behavior and sat me down for a tender discussion where they told me "You are better than this" and "You need to stop". A few days after that discussion, they caught me in a bedroom with a male friend that I brought home after a night of drinking in the city. They refused to talk to me for a week after that, and over the past couple of days they have started returning to normalcy, I began to think maybe they didn't hate me, maybe my mom and dad could forgive me, I was wrong.
The conversation started slowly, you guys outlined what I had done wrong, what I needed to do differently, and what would happen if the changes weren't made. I listened to this part, understanding your reasoning and agreeing with your perspectives. Then you took it too far. You told me you had no relationship with me anymore, you used to think you would die for me but not anymore, and now, you did not love me. After those words left your mouth I couldn't bring myself to hear anything else you were saying. I sat in your room, staring at the wall, nodding my head and wiping my face every few seconds to remove the tears from my cheeks, just waiting for you to let me leave. You told me I had my whole life ahead of me, I had an amazing future, and now, I don't see you in it. I used to imagine future holidays, bringing my children to your house to see their loving grandma and grandpa, but now, I see my family without you, because a family is a group of people who love each other. I still love you, but the most painful thing to do is to love someone who doesn't love you back.
So, to the people who I used to see as mom and dad, I am sorry. I am sorry for what I have done to lose your love and I am sorry that you will soon lose mine.
Love,
Your Daughter
