I never thought we would ever not be friends. I thought this friendship would last forever but here we are we haven't spoke in months and the worst thing is that I feel like your okay with that.
We were inseparable since we were 3 or 4. I knew all your secrets and you knew mine, if you were ever sad or mad or just needed someone to hear the weird thoughts from your head I was always there and I knew you were there for me too. Rain hail or shine I could count on you to be there but lately I've had to stand out in the cold alone.
You see what happened is you met him..it was so exciting and you were so happy and I was so happy for you , we spent hours on the phone talking about it and I gave you advice and you told me about your dates and how he made you feel and how you thought it was love and sure enough eventually you too became a couple. You were happy and in love and I was so excited for you everything was amazing untill it wasnt.
I don't remember the shift, the shift were when you had a problem you lifted your phone and dialed not my number but his, when your favorite band was in concert and you invited him not me when it was your mums surprise birthday party and he helped you plan it not me. I thought that when you got into a relationship we wouldn't change I never expected to be forgotten I thought our friendship meant more to you but obviously it doesn't. And I know how this looks to you, you think I'm jealous you think I don't like him and you think it was me who just out of the blue decided we couldn't be friends anymore but that's not the case.
Yes I decided that I couldn't be in your life anymore and I am so so sorry for that believe me it was the hardest decision I ever had to make it broke me, it broke my heart but I couldn't be a shadow any longer.. you see I was there in your life but really I wasn't you still called me your bestfriend but you didn't act like it. Id make plans and youd cancel...to be with him. I'd call but you wouldn't answer..because you were at his game. I'd need you..but you wouldn't be there. I couldn't stand there any longer like a ghost watching your life happen but never actually be a part of it. You think I walked out I didn't I was locked out frantically knocking on the door and banging on the windows but you didn't here me all I could do was look in. But there came a point where I couldn't watch any longer it was too painful so I walked away.
I don't see why you had to choose, I don't know why for you it was a me or him situation no one said you had to have one or the other you made that call all on your own that's on you. I don't resent you for it though i never will, I want you to know I could never hate you or speak ill of you and I hope you wouldn't either. I guess we just grew apart as you two grew together.
I hope he loves you like you love him and I hope he cares for you and is there for you when your at your lowest. I hope he takes you on all the crazy adventures we planned with eachother I wouldn't want you miss out. I hope the he's worth the world to you because he cost our friendship which was the world to me.
I will always have the endless stupid stories from our antics and memories from our time together it was truely so special those years were the best in my life and I will treasure them forever. I don't really know where we go from here maybe one day our paths will cross and maybe then there will be a space in your life for me, I hope so but untill then goodbye and good luck I wish you the best I really do and I hope you follow the dreams you told me about all those years ago.
You will always have a place in my heart.
Sincerely,
The bestfriend you forgot about
