Dear Ex-Bestfriend,
I've wondered for a while whether I should write this or whether I should just let things be. You've gotten new friends, a new boyfriend, and a whole new outlook on life. I have too.
For all I know you're completely happy with where you are in life and if that is the case then I'm happy for you. I think about you often. Daily as a matter of fact. I feel as if our friendship ended with so much shattered trust for each other that we both gave up on the idea of forgiveness.
We were such different people that our friendship didn't make sense to anyone else. But, it made perfect sense to us and that was all that mattered. We looked past the sense of untrust and the rumors we would hear about each other as if they didn't matter.
I still can't make myself get rid of anything you got me, made me, bought me... I think we were both at a time in our lives where we needed an anchor and so in a way ... We used each other. I used you and you used me.
I find it ironic that we would always say "broes before hoes" but it was a guy that got us together, a guy that caused tension while we were together, and a guy that tore us apart. We were never as strong as we thought. We were simply leaning on each other because we were all each other had.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all lies and bad times. Heck... We had fun didn't we? How many times do you think we rounded the boat docks per night? The videos we always made were classic... I can't delete them. We took a girl under our wings and guided her to safety. We both got crap about it but we didn't care. I bought you Oreos and you ate the entire pack in one night. It helped that we never went to sleep. Do you remember the bull? What about the shoes in the hallway? What about our turtle bear mother? Have you forgotten?
I need to apologize to you. I never thanked you for what you did for me when I was hurting the worst. You had warned me. Multiple times in fact... Thank you for giving my stuff back to him so I didn't have to. Thank you for ending it when I couldn't make myself do it. In a way... You saved my stubborn butt. So, thank you for that.
I've been harboring resentment against you that I should have let go long ago. So, I want you to know that I'm thankful for the part you played in my life. I'm thankful for our hashtag notes and our trips to California. I'm thankful for your mom who still loves on me every time she sees me. I'm thankful for your brothers... Even the one who flirted with me jokingly. I'm thankful for your beautiful sister. I'm thankful for the nights we opened our hearts to each other. I'm thankful for jamming sessions and you trying your darnedest to teach me how to dance. I'm thankful for the people we hung around with, because every single one of them taught me a lesson. I'm thankful for corny jokes and morning texts.
You are someone I cherish. Yes, I know... That's weird. We don't talk anymore... Maybe it's best that way. But, it's crazy to me how we went from inseparable to separated just like that. I'm crying writing this. Not so much because I regret our friendship, but because I wish that neither of us had to go through what we went through. It changed both of us drastically. Maybe... Just maybe that's why we're not friends anymore. Because we're two different people now.
Different or not. Thank you for the part you played in my life. I will always remember every time we cried together and laughed together. Because, there was a time when you were my lifeline and because of you I'm who I am today. God bless you turtle bear.
Your Ex-Best Friend
