I don't know where to start, and I don't have much to say.
This will be short, but if it can reach you somehow, some way, I hope you realize it.
I was young, you had a sister my age. Did you creep in your sisters bed too? Did you steal her childhood innocence, or did your head allow you to draw boundaries somewhere?
Did you realize what you did to me was wrong? Or, were you too, wronged when you were a boy, and felt compulsion, need and desire?
Privileged. That's how you grew up to outsiders.
Maybe your home life wasn't perfect, guess what? Mine wasn't either. And yet I've never felt the need to rip away the innocence of a child.
Secrets.
You made me promise to never tell. Maybe I thought I was special? Loved? Wronged? Hurt?
I can't tell you what I was feeling, because I've done everything I possibly can to forget it, and to numb it when it creeps back in.
I've run away from the night where you were successful in every way shape and form. Why didn't I ever tell? I can rip my 6 year old selfs hair off in anger for not telling.
I suffered silently.
You got away with it.
I hope you didn't touch your sister.
Relationships.
What even are they? I can't trust a man, sex is impossible to enjoy.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to have a normal relationship.
I have no one to thank for that except for you.
So thanks for stealing my innocence, and allowing me to see the real world at a young age.
Without you I may be more naive, I may have been in situations that could have ended poorly.
Or maybe, just maybe, I would have had a normal childhood, and not be a terrified twenty-something now.
It's unclear, and I'm not sure.
But one thing I am sure of, you deserved to get in trouble for what you did. And for you never dealing with any consequences, the only person I have to thank for that, is myself.
