Your daughter will not remember the things you TOLD her. She will remember the things you SHOWED her. She will remember how you made her FEEL. So run your mouth all you want. But at the end of the day, you must know your actions speak louder than words. For example…
She will remember always having to lie to you about her mom, because anytime you knew she was talking to, seeing, or even thinking positively about her mom, you would get angry, go on a rampage, and spend hours "lecturing" her about how awful her mother is. You show her how your hate for her mother is stronger than any love you have for her, your own daughter. But that’s OK, her mom will continue to take your hate, and show her what forgiveness looks like.
She will remember you spent your last Halloween with her DRUNK. You showed her you can’t enjoy time with her while sober, even the last Halloween you would have together. But that’s OK, her mom will take all future Halloweens and give her new memories of family and friends enjoying time with her.
She will remember how, more than once, you told her you couldn’t or wouldn't pay for a school trip for her, yet you always had plenty of money to buy another guitar for yourself. But that’s OK, her mom came through for her and showed her there is always a solution. She will remember who helped her raise the money to go on those school trips, and even joined her on some of those trips as a chaperone.
She will remember when you texted her “kissing on a grown woman takes precedence over your game tonight.” You told her some random woman is more important than she is – and then you proved it by not showing up. But that’s OK, her mom, her step-dad, and her grandparents showed up for her and showed her how much she is loved.
She will remember you wouldn’t give her five measly dollars for pizza between school and her evening game because “it’s your mother’s responsibility to feed you tonight since you are going back to her today.” But that’s OK, her mom showed up with the $5 for pizza, without saying a single negative word about you and the hate you continue to hold on to for so long.
What she will remember about you is how you constantly put your wants and selfish desires (even for revenge) before her needs (even the need to feel important and loved by her own dad). No one has to TELL her anything about the REAL you. YOU are showing her through your actions. Is this really how you want your daughter to remember you?
If so, keep doing what you are doing.
