Dear George,
So obligatory consent lessons made you feel like you’d been slapped in the face? Well, that’s exactly how so many women and I felt when we read your article for the Tab.
Did you know that around 1 in 3 women will experience sexual assault (anything from unwanted groping in a nightclub to being raped) during their time at university? ((http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11343380/Sexually-assault-1...))
Now I'm not a mathematician, but that means that there are a LOT of boys at university who don’t know when to stop. I’m not saying you’re one of them; I’m sure you really are the ‘nice guy’ who knows that no means no that you claimed to be in your article. But your attitude, and your comments, are unacceptable.
As a woman, I’ve been taught my entire life how to avoid being raped. When I started having to walk home from school alone in the dark I was encouraged to take self defense classes, in case I was attacked on my way home. I’ve been taught to carry rape alarms in my school bag - just in case. I’ve been told not to leave my drink unattended in a nightclub in case it ends up being spiked and I become somebody’s victim. Perhaps most shockingly of all, I have been taught not by one class, or lesson, but by society as a whole, that if I go out of the house dressed anything other than conservatively, I could be putting MYSELF at risk of being raped or sexually assaulted.
Thankfully, society is starting to change and accept that actually, we should be teaching men not to rape, rather than teaching women to try and avoid becoming a victim. I think the fact that universities are stepping up and giving classes on consent is an incredible step in the right direction.
Every single woman in this world is a potential future victim of sexual assault or rape. It could happen to any of us, at any time, by anyone. If none of us are above the possibility we could one day be subjected to one of the most vile and life-ruining crimes, then NO man, regardless of what a ‘nice guy’ they are, is above attending a class on consent. Yes George, that means you too.
[It might be worth pointing out that I personally believe women should be obliged to attend these classes too as of course, men are also at risk of being raped or sexually assaulted by women too]
When I read your article I was very, very upset. You are shirking a serious responsibility by opting out of these classes. I’m sure you do know the difference between ‘yes’ and ‘no’; but these classes are about so much more than that. During the first couple of weeks that I was at university I had to attend a class on plagiarism and referencing, which I had already been taught at sixth form. Nevertheless I attended anyway, because you never know where there could be holes in your knowledge. Perhaps not the best analogy, but I hope you see what I’m getting at.
To conclude, George, no one is victimising you or oppressing you by asking you to attend a class on consent. No one is assuming that you will sexually assault or rape anyone during your time at university. No one is singling you out as a potential rapists - it’s obligatory for ALL MEN. Your refusal to attend, and moreover your attitude towards these classes is highly offensive to women and men who have been raped or sexually assaulted. Stand up and accept your responsibility.
From,
Chelsea Reynolds, a history and politics student at University of Birmingham, and potential future victim of sexual assault and/or rape.
