Dear Lance,
I realise that you are busy trying to sell your shame at the moment, but with legal action looming I thought I might suggest an out of court settlement.
If you would be kind enough to refund me for the following purchases which were made based on you being a decent human being, and most of all a sportsman:
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BIKE – 2000 $35
EVERY SECOND COUNTS – 2003 $35
US POSTAL CYCLE SHIRT – 2002 $220
Lance, you owe me $290 dollars.
I believed you when you told stories of the rigorous drug testing regime you endured. I felt sorry for you when you opined the way you were victimised as a cheat.
I know you weren’t alone, only a fool would believe that you guys can hammer those ascents in the Alps day after day with no illegal help… I was that fool. I bought in to your terrific Texan fighting spirit.
I believed that it was all down to your phenomenal aerobic capacity, and your resting heart rate of just 32 beats per minute… now I doubt you even have a heart.
Lance, you are even more of an embarrassment than that other Texan laughing stock George W Bush.
As an American sportsman I used to think of you as an Ali…now I see you as OJ Simpson.
Lance, it’s not that you cheated…but that you lied….and lied…and lied.
That I wanted to believe you only makes it worse.
So if you could send that money, I’ll spend it on some honest writing…say Keith Richards biography…at least he was honest about drug use.
Regards,
Shaun
