Dear Friend, Family Member, Ex-friend, Ex-boyfriend, Coworker, and Acquaintance,
First off, I’m sorry. I’ve spent years on my high horse, thinking I don’t do nearly as much wrong as I actually do. I’ve also spent many years retelling my story where a lot of things “happen to me,” playing the victim, not standing up for myself, and blaming it on everyone else. I’m ready now, though, to take a clear look, come clean, and ask for forgiveness.
So what am I sorry for? A multitude of sins that have hurt me, yet I was so quick to do them to someone else.
If I ever called you a name, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry if I ever called you “stupid” or “idiot” or “f*cking a**hole.” I’m sorry if I ever gave you a mean nickname based on your looks or something else you couldn’t change about yourself....
Lifestyle
Dear Dominik,
You’ve probably seen my Youtube videos and think I’m a big time celebrity and can’t relate to you, but the truth is I’ve been where you are, many times actually. Being a good young man trying to woo a gorgeous woman and before you know it a big time pro athlete comes in and steals your girl, it happens. Hell, just in 2015 I’ve had a girl leave me at a bar for a certain (now former) member of the Boston Red Sox and a few weeks ago had a former LA Lakers Head Coach steal my girl, nothing you can do about it.
Just get back out on the ice, work your ass off and show the bitch what she’s missing. Clearly she’s a deranged psychopath-not for cheating on you with Jagr, all due respect but almost anyone would do that-but for trying to blackmail one of the last true “IDGAF” guys...
5,686
Hello there,
First you should know, he and I have been having unprotected sex regularly in the months leading up to our break up and then also for the last 2 months since our break up. Secondly, he and I had sex the night before he left on his trip to see you as well as after his return, yes after your lovely week together.
It was after this last time together that he finally revealed to me the whole story about the two of you (rather it was the most honest he had been about you two up until that time). He claims you were aware of our activities in the weeks leading up to his visit with you. But I could tell he was lying about that. And so I wanted to do for you what you couldn't for me. So just as much as he lied to me, he has lied to you. You are not immune to it. But given your...
4,516
Mark,
I’m done with you.
I don’t say this in anger. It’s just that, when I walked away from that piece of our lives today and left you and drove away, I was done being a martyr. If the handing over of the keys was supposed to be my fire, then I walked in willingly and came away with sainthood. I’m no longer emotionally beholden to you. I am my own. And now, thanks to you, I am free.
When I met you, I was young and independent and fierce. I was planning to move to California in search of a new beginning and sun and the beach and a more open-minded community. But then I met you, and you convinced me to stay. Everything in me revolted against this idea. But there was something about you that made it seem worth it.
Do you remember that it was you who said “I love you” first? After...
7,231
To all students, faculty, staff, and administrators at the College Preparatory School and beyond,
What does it mean to be young? The inevitable streaks of grey in my hair have yet to appear, the facet joints of my vertebrae are stacked comfortably, and my voice yearns to be heard. I am always unconsciously directing every conversation back to the central concern: myself. Mine is the “right” opinion. Mine are the only values “worthy” of recognition. This is because we come into high school a place chock-full of individuals from diverse environments, as individuals who are the cohesion of unreplicatable personal experiences. So it’s a world of “I, I, I,” revolving around “me, me, me” and everything within sight and conversation is “mine, mine, mine.”
At the College Preparatory School...
3,058
Dear Tony Abbott,
It’s been a year since I last wrote to you. I was very angry back then, but you’ll be pleased to hear that this letter is not being written in anger, but has much more of a triumphant tone than my previous correspondence. The reason for this turn in my mood has everything to do with the reversal in your political fortunes over the previous 12 months.
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, you are incredibly unpopular. Looking back at my grievances with you in the past, I can see that much of my frustration about your behaviour was born from the fact that you were so obviously getting away with being a complete wanker while still managing to be elected Prime Minister of Australia. No matter how much I tried to tell people just how dangerous a prospect you were as a PM, and no...
2,370
To my fellow Christians,
I’ve never been a fan of Duck Dynasty. Let me just admit my bias right up front and start there. I watched the show once – well before all the controversial headlines – and I would rather walk barefoot through a forest of Legos than be subjected to watching it again. But people have different tastes, and I understand that. And when you find a TV show or an artist or a public figure who you can relate to in some way, it’s a powerful thing. I think as a Christian, there’s something particularly alluring about seeing a fellow believer in such a prominent way in mainstream society. And I understand that too.
Hey this is a cool! This guy’s on this popular quirky reality show, and he’s a strong believer! What a nice change of pace!
I think we all want to feel...
2,672
Dear Whoopi Goldberg,
You were the obvious choice for this week's Douchebag Decree. On Monday's episode of The View, you said that you know Mel Gibson and that he's not a racist, which is definitely a partial defense of his character, and attempted to excuse his behavior because of his alcohol abuse, which doesn't even make sense, because you then said he wasn't drunk during the taped phone calls. I linked to the video, but it basically went like this:
I mean, you know! Because you were there. Then yesterday on The View, you responded to the media backlash (I guess you can skip this part, because you know what you said):
"There has been a lot of a lot of hassle and hazzerai [ed. note removed] in the media recently, about moi! (Pause for laughs.)... Because I had the audacity to say...
2,590
Dear coach Philbin,
It's been a while since I've heard from you. Actually, it's been a while since Dolphins fans have seen you or heard from you. We last talked the day after the 2013 season abruptly ended without a playoff berth. You briefly attended new general manager Dennis Hickey's introductory press conference -- but only long enough to hear his and owner Stephen Ross's opening comments. You left as soon as the question and answer period began.
And I get it. You don't like the media much. You probably wish that part of your job would disappear just like you wish the words "bullying" and "harassment" would disappear from Dolphins lexicon. I also understand you think your responsibility to the media and to speak with your fans through the media ended the moment your 10-minute...
2,263
Dear Bill,
Could you please take a look at the student loan scheme when you prepare your next budget?
I realise that your 2015 surplus target is looking increasingly out of reach, but I have a suggestion to help you get back there sustainably.
New Zealand’s student loan borrowers are a parasite on the Government’s books, and a quick glance at the state of the Government’s balance sheet shows these parasites are in plague proportions.
Solving this plague will definitely improve your chances of returning to surplus sustainably over the medium-term.
Despite education being an investment in oneself, as evident by the higher average earnings of tertiary graduates, the Government seems content with continuing to subsidise graduates even once they have embarked on a successful...
2,672