This is to you, the ignorant one; the gullible one; the one who lives in a constant state of perpetual denial about his other woman; the one who really thinks that she finally got him to change after almost 30 years of marriage and countless affairs...YES YOU!
It's time for you to wake up sister. Time for you to realize just how foolish you really are.
What on earth would make you think that this time around is any different? Because he says the right things? Because he's making more of an "effort"? Those little occasional weekend daytrips?
Because he plies you with little surprises and trinkets? Those little text messages that he had stopped sending you, but now he does again?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but guess what. The only thing that has changed is this. He has simply gotten much better. He has learned to be more convincing, learned to bring on those false tears a little easier. And those gifts? You can thank me for that. You see I gave him a little pointer after the last huge tantrum that you threw over his latest jewelry fiasco. I won't tell you what but let's just say that your submission, your silence, your willingness to "forgive", that was bought with your most recent...we will just call them aquisitions. (yes, happy anniversary).
You seem to walk around with this arrogance about you, like you finally succeeded in making your always unfaithful husband finally come around and that your marriage is now "stronger than ever". Again, hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm about to hit you with some hard core reality.
Those children of yours? That grandbaby of yours? Here's your reality. You seem to think that I didn't know he was planning on moving back in with you? I did. We had talked it over many times. As hard as it is to live with someone you can't stand, there are times when what is even harder is to be away from your children. Sometimes we end up sacrificing what we want most in this world for the good of someone else, like our children. It is most unfortunate that there are selfish assholes like you in this world who can only see things through their own myopic lens. You have lived with this man for almost thirty years. You have fought with him for most of that. You have been miserable and unhappy for more of that than not, and no matter how much you may try to deny and claim otherwise, you KNOW without a doubt that you have done nothing in almost all of those years to make him happy. But you also know that for him, his children come first. You have watched and allowed this man to always work himself to the bone six days a week. And what is it that you do to make his life easier? Oh, so you cook dinner. Big wow. Oh, you clean the house? Another wow. Aren't you such the special one. What else have you done? What's that? Oh, that's right. You nag him from sunup to sundown. He can barely get his workday started without the constant barrage of phone calls and texts from you ALL DAY LONG! Even as busy as he stays, even though YOU are not even supposed to BE on your phone at your job unless it's because you are outside of the building. Yet there you are, always in his business...always asking question after question, always accusing him of one thing or another. My favorite accusation? "How does she seem to know so much?" Yes, it's because I'm just a good guesser. (really now? and you actually believe that) You spend every afternoon interrogating him once he gets home. You spend countless hours going through his phone, emails, the cell phone bill just trying to catch him having any communication with me. You even go through his vehicle. (still looking for that secret phone?) You look for any evidence you can find anywhere. It's almost as if you do it on purpose just so that you can excuse your own bad behaviour and treatment of him.
You really seem to think I'm gone, that I'm just a little hiccup in your life? Sorry sweetie. Hate to break it to you. Yes there is most definitely a reason that I know so much, and there is a reason why he has gotten better at acting out his part. That is because he counts on the fact that despite all of your constant bitching and nagging, at the end of the day no matter how many of those texts you send him written in all caps for him to TELL YOU THE TRUTH, you aren't going anywhere. You are so damn worried about your precious little reputation, (which I hate to inform you isn't as great as you seem to think)...you are always so concerned about what your friends and family will think to know that you STAY with a man who always has, and always will cheat on you, (except of course for your own mother who insists that you hang on to him no matter what) that you are willing to put up with anything...so what makes you think that he's going to give up the only good thing he has going for him besides his children.
Does it hurt that he has to go to a different home than me every day? Hell yes. Am I proud of being the other woman in his life? Hell no. But here is OUR reality...mine, and his. We are not able to publicly be together because YOU are a jealous, hateful, vengeful woman. You always have been. You have NEVER been a nice person or a good wife. NEVER. And the only time you don't act like the raging hypocritical bitch that is your TRUE self is when you are in public. And even then sometimes it's a tossup. Yes, I do know even about the times you have your little hissy fits, the times he gets so embarrassed at your bitching that he wants to just walk off and leave you. But as I said, OUR reality is that until some circumstances and things with children change then we will have to just accept that for now this is the only way we can be together...And that's because of the kind of person you are...if you REALLY were a good person as you always claim to be then he would not feel as if he is unable to leave you. He would not feel that he MUST stay with you and that he has to do and say ANYTHING necessary to make it believable that he really does love you. But you see, because you have already tried in the past to completely and utterly destroy him by turning your children against him....(his deepest fear in this entire world), you have FORCED him into compliance. You have forced him to always have to pretend, he feels as if he has to beg, plead, deny, do and say anything he can to make you think that he hates me. BUT....you already know that don't you. Because that's the type of person that you really are. It's not about love for you. It's about winning, at all costs. Even if it means forcing someone to pretend to be in love with you. Even if it means that you will spend the REST of your life sleeping next to a man that deep down you KNOW doesn't really want to be with you, that longs for another, that gets his TRUE pleasure from someone other than you (again, great acting skills)...yet he stays. Day after day, month after month, year after year. He stays. He lies to your face. He pretends to be happy. He pretends to love you. Each time he is caught he just learns a little better from the last time. But HIS reality is that he does it because he thinks has to, that there is absolutely no other option EVEN when you threaten to kick him out and divorce him, (those tears? not for you. those are out of the fear of losing his family) He feels trapped. He IS trapped. He truly believes that if he doesn't stay in line, if he doesn't adhere and allow you to think that you are in control then he will eventually lose his children/grandchild. And we both know that is something that he just could never take.
Now he HATES that I like to write out my feelings. He HATES that I'm not like many people, I believe in just telling it like it is. I would much rather just face the music than to live out a lie. But he is not like that. He is in fact the complete opposite of that. So I may end up in trouble, or I may not. We will see I guess...but either way. I just want to tell you that you may want to think twice before you be so arrogant as to run your mouth about me. I know all of the things you say, I know the names you call me, but you just might want to look in the mirror before you go off saying people are desperate and pathetic and so on. At least I can admit my end of what's up. I'm not the one who is so desperate to show my friends and family that my cheating husband REALLY HAS changed this time around, that it was just a big mistake, that he really DOES love me and not her...blah blah blah. Who is pathetic sweetie? I'm not the one who would rather spend the rest of my life being miserable AND making someone else miserable just because I am too embarrassed to admit that we didn't have a good marriage and that we would be better off and much happier to just go our separate ways.
One thing is for damn sure. At least when I lay down in MY bed at night, while I might be sleeping alone it's got to be much better than laying next to someone who wants to be elsewhere, with someone else.
And I will not call him out by name because you will just eventually use it against him, but if I know you, you will read this...probably throw another raging fit, screenshot it, save it to your little file you have, and then in your true dumb bitch fashion you will sit there and try and tell yourself that none of it is true, that I'm making it up, etc etc etc. Well honey, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!
