I don’t need your pity. I don’t need your opinion about my whole being; I know what is wrong with me and picking it out does not help me either. It just makes me hate myself more and don’t tell me that I should this and that because I really want to. But I just can’t. I am ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of what I turned out to be. I am afraid to hear what exactly I don’t want to hear. So please, stop. You are not helping me; you are being another burden.
Every single time I eat, there is that lingering thought in my head. “This is why you’re fat.” And “This is why nobody takes interest in you.” Don’t feel sorry for me because you pity me for turning out to be like this but I feel sorry for you because of the things that you said that make me feel uncomfortable; you are bringing me down so you can feel great about yourself. Just don’t. Also, just because I am fat and unhealthy does not mean you can judge me. “You would be so pretty if you were thin.”
I am beautiful in my own way; for the way I think, the way I speak for myself and the way I look at things. That is why I’m beautiful. I may not have the perfect body and perfect face but at least, I accept myself for being me. I am not saying that I am contented as to what I am now but what I mean is, I am trying. I am trying to be a better version of myself and I don’t need your opinion or your pity.
Each time you say a single word about my physique makes me cringe, it makes me eat my emotions and it makes me ashamed but also every time you say those words, I applaud myself for being able to take your criticisms and pity about me.
I may not have the perfect body and face that society tells me I need to have but at least I know who I am and who I want to be. Yes, I am fat, overweight, obese, unhealthy, and everything undesirable but at the very least, I know who I am. And for me, that is enough.