I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't realize the power you held over me in that moment. You weren't even with me, but I felt your words resonate through my heart and mind. You made me laugh and smile even though I was clutching the scissors with harsh fingers.
No, you didn't stop me from jumping, not in this letter.
But you stopped me from going down that road.
This incident happened time and time again, most of the time you didn't realize what exactly you were doing. You weren't aware, but I didn't want you to be.
But you didn't need to know.
You changed my life without knowing it.
I laughed again.
You reminded me I'm not the vehemently disgusting creature my depression and anxiety telling me I was. You reminded me it's okay to eat. I need to eat. You reminded me it's okay to make mistakes. You reminded me, for a day, that I was stronger than a relapse.
And so for a day, I didn't.
We repeated the cycle.
You never knew.
But you saved me.
Now I see the stars every night and gaze at them sweetly. Now I turn 16 when four years ago I didn't want to turn 13. Now I am fighting for who I am because who I am is not wrong.
We are still friends, but I know eventually we will depart.
But that's okay.
Because you will always be the one who saved me.