I can say I regret what I did, even though it was the right thing to do. You were more than just my friend, but my soulmate. My lifelong partner, my family, and my home.
But like any good relationship we had our ups and our downs, but I always just let it go. I guess that's just the type of person I am, I don't care how you treat me or what you do to me.
It's not because I'm nice or care about your feelings, it's really just because I don't care. So when we would get into a fight and you'd ignore my feelings and make the whole thing about you, I'd just move on.
But I couldn't do that this time.
You were starting to catch these feelings for this boy who I could tell was going to break your heart, not because he's a bad person but just because a relationship with him wouldn't last. So for the first time, I fought against you and I didn't support you. I told you exactly what I thought, I said you shouldn't date him. That its a bad idea and you'll only end up alone in the end.
You didn't like that.
You ignored me for I night and I gave you your space, it wasn't until the next morning did I reach out to you. And guess what? I apologized to you! And you said 'Yep.' You've got to be kidding me.
When I asked for an apology back you said 'Sorry.' Sorry? You couldn't even say 'I'm sorry' just 'Sorry'!
I lashed out, not at first but as we continue talking I just couldn't hold myself back.
I tried to resolve it nicely, but you just wanted to move on? Really? I understand you might not be angry anymore, but I'm flat out pissed. You didn't even ask me why I was angry, you just said "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
And I hate you for that. I don't hate you as much as I love you, but nonetheless, I will always hold that against you.
After you said that, I lost it. I snapped at you, I said everything I had never said before. "Think about someone else besides yourself for a change!" "I was just trying to help because you can't help but make the same mistake over and over again!" "I have always supported you, just because at this moment I'm disagreeing with you doesn't make an asshole or cruel!"
I think I took it too far, but I think you deserved it.
I think I've played the supporting role long enough, I think I'm allowed to disagree with you without being a bitch. And I sure as hell think you're in the wrong here, not me.
I will love you till this stone heart of mine turns to ash from the fire-raising in my pit, but for now, I think I'll just wait for my damn apologize.
