I love you, but if we can’t set boundaries, I will need to break up with you on behalf of my two daughters. Neither of our daughters are allowed to date boys, yet they seem to be dating….well, you.
Yes, I’m talking to you, iPad and iPhone. I see the longing in my daughters’ eyes during dinner when you vibrate and light up from afar. And by “afar” I’m referring to a distance of about 10 feet while we attempt a family a discussion over chicken casserole. You and your needy bells and whistles. We need space!
I have caught you, iPhone, in bed under the covers with my 11-year old last week. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Yes, it was awkward for both of us, when I pulled you from the grips of her tiny palms, but it was after 10:00 pm. 6th graders need sleep, not texts. I don’t care you’re the vehicle through which she supports her friends through breakups and rumors. While I’m impressed with the organization with which she conducts her plethora of text messages, I’m concerned with the number of Zzzzs she is sacrificing in direct correlation to the number of texts she sends past her bedtime. And don’t think for a second that I don’t hear you when you’re on vibrate.
And iPad, you’re no better. You pretend to be helping our 8th grader with homework, but I see you displaying Instagram selfies when she is supposed to be working on Math. You pretend to be educational when I’m around, but as soon as I walk away, I know you display Vines and Pinterest. I’m fully aware that you team up with our 13 year-old to be as sneaky as possible. When I walk by the dining room table, you appear to be a tutorial on “How To Solve For X”, but as I walk away, you shapeshift into a social networking site. iPad, I appreciate it when you help us google definitions when struggling with English, but you come off a little desperate and needy with all your notifications and “I’m-a-pleaser” attitude.
So Technology, it is with a heavy heart that I recommend we take a break. It’s not you, it’s me. (Well, mostly it’s you.)
Mom (the one who pays for apps and upgrades)