When I turned sixteen, the first opportunity I had, I donated blood. After that, I donated at every opportunity, and the local blood bank received a regular supply of O negative. When I was given a chance to make a donation of a double unit of red cells, I gave it without a second thought. Then I met the man I would later marry.
We fell for each other, and we fell fast and we fell hard. It was, and very much still is, a deep love. I had never been as happy as I am with him, and we were both very eager to tie the knot.
Very shortly after the wedding (as in the next day) there was a blood drive, and I wanted to do my part to help. Unfortunately, I knew that I couldn't. Sure, I could lie about it and pretend I was straight. After all, I know that I don't have HIV, and they test all the blood anyway. But I'm not a dishonest person, and even though it's a good cause, I couldn't bring myself to go "in the closet," even for such a short time.
I haven't donated blood in a few years now, so when I heard that there FDA was considering ending the lifetime deferral on gay men donating, I was excited to be able to help again. Then I heard about the new policy replacing the old one. It's outrageous. My husband and I are loyal to each other, and even though our love life is no one's business but our own, I will willingly disclose that fact that, yes, we have had sex in the past year and I don't see us ever going that long without. Meanwhile, I have heterosexual friends who aren't in committed relationships and have had multiple sexual partners in that same time. Tell me, how does having sex with my husband put me at a higher risk for contacting HIV than them? The virus doesn't spontaneously develop from the act of two men having sex - it has to come from somewhere. I know that my blood is safe, and if you don't trust me, that's what the tests are for. I could be saving lives, but your archaic personal beliefs are holding me back.
I look forward to the day the FDA comes to their senses and lets me start donating blood
