To our daughter,
When your teenage kids begin to date it can be a very difficult thing for parents to accept. On the one hand you want them to experience the positives of a relationship and even finding love, but you also want to protect them from the pitfalls and heartbreak of the bad ones. As a parent our feelings might tend to border on the more protective, after all it isn't that difficult to guess what the majority of young boys are after...and girls too nowadays.
But to ignore both the possible good and bad sides of discussing relationships and sex with your teenagers is something that should be avoided at all costs, no matter how awkward you may feel it is. After all, the more we are open about these things, the more likely they are to respond positively to your advice and hopefully be responsible. The crux of this advice is that no parent wants their child to be giving into peer pressure and have sex when they aren't ready for it and especially when it is in a relationship that doesn't mean anything.
With that being said, here is our advice to you:
It is important to know yourself before sharing it with others. It might sound foolish but if you jump into relationships before you have a good idea of what you like and what kind of personality you have, you are going to end up wasting time with people who don't share those things. Look to all this type of advice and you will see that everyone knows you will be much happier in a relationship once you are happy with who you are. Therefore don't rush into anything with the first boy who shows signs of interest and take your time! Remember you are young and have all the time in the world.
Ok so it will sounds funny coming from a parent but play it cool! Both boys and girls can behave strangely in relationships, your insecurities come out and you begin behaving irrationally. You don't need to spend all your time worrying about what your boyfriend is doing - there is no need to text and call continuously - and the same goes if he is doing this to you.
Our next piece of advice is one that will last a life time when it comes to relationships...if it feels too much like hard work then it probably isn't worthwhile! That's right, if you are arguing and falling out with a boyfriend on a regular basis then perhaps you should take a second to realise that maybe, just maybe, you aren't right for each other. We have all had friends who have stayed in bad relationships for much longer than they should have because they thought he was 'the one' and that they were meant to be together, so don't make the same mistake.
On to the topic of sex. Just because you are prepared to share yourself with someone doesn't mean they are bound to you. Nowadays young people have detached sex a lot from relationships, but this doesn't mean you should freely part with your virginity with whoever is around. Try to let it be with someone you care about and who cares about you.
Next up, use protection! You might not like us mentioning it but you are going to save yourself a lot of stress and anxiety if you are sensible and use protection. Now the likes of abortion as a way to prevent pregnancy are made to seem easy and painless but that is not the case and you definitely don't want to put yourself in that position.
But when it all comes down to it the most important thing to do is to enjoy yourself and spend your youth with the people you love and share things in common with!
You don't want to look back on your teenage years and regret your decisions.
With all our love,
Your parents
