Dear mommy, its been a few years. ive grown up so much and only wish that you were here to watch me. When you first left it didnt really effect me that much, maybe it was because i was pretty young and didnt really think about it like i do now. I love you so much.. i just wonder if you love me like i love you, i sit and wonder if you even think about me. i wonder where you are, how you are, if your even alive, sometimes i wonder if you even remember me. Every day i find myself saying something that you would say, or ill say something and my voice will sound exactly like yours or ill look in the mirror at myself and i look just like you. Im not mad that you chose drugs over me, maybe i was at first but after a while i just felt overpowering sadness. I have this hole in my heart where your supposed to be. Your my mommy and thats never going to change, i just wish you were here to help me get ready for prom, help me choose colleges, give me advice on boys, take me shopping, hug me when im sad, and just love me unconditionally like a mother is suposed to do. Every night you use to sing to me. You would sing "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skys are gray, you never know dear how much i love you, please dont take my sunshine away". Then at the end i would say "they wont mommy". The funny thing is nobody took me away.. you left me. & i just wish so much that you would come back and let me help you! i saw you for the first time in 4 years yesterday. you looked so different. its amazing how drugs can change a persons appearance in such a small amount of time. When i saw you i didnt know what to do. i wanted to bust out in tears and hug you and never let you go. i wanted to just take you back home with me and start all over. but thats not how life works.. i dont think you felt the same way when you saw me. Do you know how heartbroken i am? my heart is literally broken. i just feel so abandoned and i try to make myself just get over it and move on.. but i mean how can you move on from your own mother. I love you mommy.
