I am 44 years old, yet I have learned more about life in the last 10 years then I did in the first 34. I have felt loss, grief, happiness, unconditional love, helplessness, and realized that I cannot control everything.
I cannot control everything that happens in my life or the people I love most. My happiness is not controlled by anything that happens but rather the way I choose to react to those things.
To my husband, you have showed me that love does not need to be earned. You have stuck by me in some of the hardest times of my life.
When my daddy was dying you made a promise to be my rock, to take care of his little girl. The words I will never forget you telling him on his death bed were “Don, I have some big shoes to fill but I will take care of your little girl, just like you always have.” You were right, my father was many things to many people, but you Gary, are a rock for his little girl that he would be so proud of. When I was sick and couldn’t stand you literally carried me. You have showed me that you don’t have to be blood to love a child as your own.
And that if I died tomorrow you would never let my children feel as if they don’t have a father. I cannot put into words the love and respect I have for the man you are. Words could never be enough to thank you for all the love you have given me and my children. I want you to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you know how great you are. I will love you until I take my last breathe. And I have told you many times, you stole my heart so I stole your last name!
To my mom. I cannot thank you enough for the years of prayers and taking me to church every Sunday as a child. I may not live my life the way I should. I don’t go to church on Sundays, but I know god and I love god. Without the god you taught me about as a child, I would not be here today to write these words to the people I love most in this world. I thank you for keeping me in a home where I had the love of both my mother and father. You and Daddy made me the woman I am today and for that I am forever thankful. I love you mom and I always will.
To my children. Don’t you ever think you are not worthy of love. You 3 are the most beautiful gifts god has ever given me. And as a wise man once said, everyone will pay for their own mistakes. In the end, you will see you have done everything you could possibly do to make things right.
The ball is out of your court and now you live your life and never let yourself feel regret or guilt! You 3 have given me more happiness than I could ever put into words. This family has been through so much. We get angry at each other but when we need each other, we are there. And that my babies, is the way it should be! I love you all for this. When I think of each of you I always see you as my little babies. To me you will always be my babies. If I could change the way things are I would. I have tried.
But I realize this is not my fight to fight and you have all done what you could. Always remember that! Remember that as long as I breathe, I will be there. No matter what time day or night, I will be there. I will cancel my plans, I will drop everything and I will be there. This is my promise to you. I use to think you would never understand how much I love you, but I know you all do now, because you have children of your own.
To my grandchildren. Being a Mimi has changed my life forever. I cannot explain the love I feel for my 5 beautiful grand-daughters and my 1 handsome grandson. They have enriched my life in more ways than I could ever express. I don’t want to miss a thing in your lives. I wish I could be right there with each and every one of you every day. I promise you I will always be here when you need me. I am always a phone call away. And only a plane ride away if need be. I hope that you will always know how much Mimi loves you. Our only grandson is very sick right now and I know it seems like all my time and attention has went to him. But I promise if it was any of you I would do the same for all of you. Mimi would fight Satan himself to protect all of you. I love you to the sky and I hope you always know that.
Moving forward I want you all to know that I will never turn my back on any of you. I will be there when you need me. I will love you unconditionally for the rest of my life! We will as a family get through this with Jase and we will get through anything that comes our way. I will hold this family together for as long as I live. And when I am gone, I trust you all will hold it together. Without each other we have nothing but together we have it all!
