Dear, dad.
I hate how fake you are in public. I hate how much guilt you put on mom. I hate how you make your son feel unwanted. I hate how every time we call you out on these things you shove off the fault onto our shoulders. But I don't hate that you hate me. I hate how you emotionally destroyed our family.
You come home from work, expecting to be praised for doing the same things millions of other people do everyday. You call us ungrateful, worthless, and disrespectful.
You expected mom to return to work and house chores as soon as she was out of surgery. Which is understandable when you didn't go to any of her appointments. For what she went through, she is lucky she isn't paralyzed. She isn't supposed to lift her arms above her head, carry more than 10 pounds, work... but you expect her to. I try to take care of her as much as I can but it's hard when you refuse to help or even understand what she is going through. You are the cause of many of her anxiety attacks. She has trouble shopping and doing many of the simple tasks that wouldn't kill you to help out with. And you won't. Because you don't care.
I think it's funny how anytime you would start an argument with me and I bring up all the points you have no legitimate argument for, you resort to screaming, swearing, and threatening.
Luckily for me, I never wanted a relationship with you. Not like he did. Your only son. You couldn't accept the fact that he liked sports and video games more than being in the garage. You wanted him to be like you were as a kid. Maybe he would have been if you wouldn't have forced him to do the things YOU wanted. Instead we spent a lot of time hiding from you away in our rooms.
We all understand that you don't like sports. We get it. But it wouldn't hurt you to let us talk to mom about it. Anytime you heard us talking about sports you would drown everything out by turning up the t.v. ridiculously loud or yelling at us that you didn't want to hear about it. You didn't go to many of our games. But you made sure to be to the parents night game. Got to make sure you get the "credit" you deserve, right? Got to act like you are a loving father, right?
You have made all of us cry far more than smile and it pains me that most people outside of our house think you are a "normal" father. You never were. I remember showing you a drawing that I did. And you said I messed up and should fix it. You were never a loving guy. The only time you were nice to me or your son was in public or in front of your family. Which neither happened often.
Your family despises mom. It's because we are poor. And we refuse to pretend to be something we clearly are not. You make us dress "fancy" and act differently when we are around them. Maybe it's because you feel like you need to impress them? Or you want to be like them in all their falseness? Your family sees all of us maybe once or twice a year and still treats us horribly. My great grandmother, the only grandparent left on your side, would purposely buy me clothes too small and call me fat. Your family sees you more than us though. On your secret little adventures to go see them. They want you to leave us.
I share that opinion with them, though. I prayed for you to leave. Back when you were preparing to do just that, mom begged you to stay. I couldn't understand why she would do that? to her? to us? why? I get it now. You two have been married 20 years. Mom married you at 19. All of her adult life has been spent with you and she was scared.
She is so much stronger now. She has lost so much. Too much. She is tired of living with someone who treats her like a fool. convincing her she is the problem when she isn't. She has finally realized she deserves so much better than you. When you were going to leave us, she asked what you loved most in the whole world. You said your motorcycle.
Mom cries a lot. She would tell you how great your son and I are and it kills her that you don't see us that way. She doesn't understand how you can hate us the way you do. She would tell you that your family hates us kids and you said you didn't care. That it's not your problem.
You hate moms side of the family because they are nothing like you. When mom's dad moved in (papa), you were far from thrilled. The man I love the most in this world passed away in our home and months later in an argument with mom about you selling his snowmobile you said he owed you rent for having stayed in our house months before his passing. That's beyond sick. My papa was a great man. An amazing man. Something you'll never be.
We were hurting for money and you made mom go over to your grandmas (gram) to ask for money. You knew it wouldn't go well. But you sent her anyway. At this time papa was still staying with us and we were trying our best to keep him comfortable for his last months. Gram screamed at mom for letting her "drunken" father stay with us. How dare she? At least I can say papa loved us. You and your side of the family have nothing but hate in your hearts.
We have been hurt beyond repair and you have done nothing to help. You should leave. You hate your life and everyone in it. If you think everything would just be so much better if you were alone then why don't you just go?
Your son is going to grow up to be an amazing man. I wish he could have had a role model instead of a bad example of a father. Papa loved him, though.
Dad, you need to realize that not everyone owes you something. You have done nothing to earn any our our respect and have been nothing but brutally, verbally abusive. I wish to have nothing to do with you once I get older. Neither you or your family deserve to have such great people like by brother and mom in their lives.
All I really want is for mom to be happy and my brother to be able to grow and enjoy doing whatever HE wants without being judged by you.
I hope you have a great time being alone and with family that's just like you.
sincerely, an ungrateful, worthless daughter.
