An Open Letter to My Fraternity Brothers
Dear Brothers,
I’d like to take the time to say what I didn’t get the chance to say during our senior sendoff.
First off, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for being a part of my journey through college. I rushed this fraternity the first semester of my freshman year. That’s 8 semesters that I have sat in the same seats you all sit in during chapter. That being said, I’ve seen a lot, I’ve heard a lot – so hear me out when I give you all some advice in just a little bit.
Each of you has touched my life in some form or another, whether you realize it or not. I am not going to mention each individual moment, but instead point out what this organization as done for me as a whole.
Thanks to this fraternity, I have boosted my self-confidence: I can now walk into any job interview knowing I’m prepared the best I can be, my resume and cover letter are perfected, I can approach anyone in a network event and not feel intimidated, and I can give a non-scripted speech or presentation in front of a crowd of 500 people. Without all of you always supporting me, I would never been able to land the job I will be stepping into.
This next part applies mainly to younger members.
Through these four years, I have seen some of you and your darkest moments, and you’ve seen some of mine. I’ve watched some of you lose parents, go through break ups, fail classes, you name it. I’m here to tell you that college can and may be one of the hardest times of your life. Things will go wrong, people will leave you, you might fail a few scholastic things, and you will definitely fail at interviews. But I am here to tell you that nothing can stop you – nothing will tear you down.
Now comes my part for advice, whether you take it or not is up to you.
1) Choose your roommates wisely.
If you want to live with your best friend, consider that in a roommate situation conflict always arises. You may learn things about your friend you didn’t care to know, you may argue, and eventually they may turn their back on you all because of this. So I’ll say it again; think long and hard about who you chose as a roommate. Would you really want to destroy a great friendship over someone not doing the dishes?
2) You will fail.
You may fail a test, a project or a class. Or for you Brainiacs out there, you may fail during a job interview or something instead. No matter what the case is, it isn’t the end of the world. I’m a big believer in what is meant to be will be. So before you get yourself sick over your failure, instead take what you have learned and run with it. I promise it will make the next success that much better.
3) DO NOT use GPA as a measure of intelligence.
Contrary to some people’s belief, and you may not all agree with me and that is fine, but GPA really does not matter (of course there are exceptions: med school, rocket science, etc.). GPA requirements for jobs and internships 9 out of 10 times is not a deciding factor on whether you get the job or not. Your skills, personality, leadership, communication skills, and ability to perform are what determine your eligibility. So if you are not the strongest student, don’t fret over your GPA, and instead focus on the other mentioned things above to overcome it. I promise you will blow your employee higher out of the water with those traits over a 4.0 GPA.
That being said, for those of you with the 4.0 GPA, be sure you are focusing on the other areas as well. I know sometimes it can be difficult to balance.
4) Never underestimate someone.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched people do this each other, or have personally been a victim of this. Everyone has their own particular set of skills, whether you see them useful or not. Someone can easily take those skills and become a success story with them. Just because they are not on the same path as you, does not make them any less accomplished. Give them time, and let them surprise you – it’s pretty astonishing to watch.
On the other hand, if you have been the victim that has been shit on, be sure to prove everyone wrong and throw that drink in their face. I did, and it’s the best feeling watching their jaws drop. Go get ‘em.
5) “Always be humble and kind”.
I don’t know if you know this, but no one likes someone who is cocky or conceded; I’m yet to meet someone who does at least. Don’t get me wrong, you have every right to celebrate your accomplishments that you have earned (we’ll get to that in a bit), but do understand there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Learn not to be full of yourself, never put yourself above others just because of your successes. It not only makes you look shitty, but it also makes people feel shitty. Be humble. Don’t brag about the salary you’re getting right out of school, or about the car you drive. You ARE NOT entitled to anything in this life. You have to EARN IT. You need to work hard, you need to go out of your way and build those connections. If you are getting pissed off because something isn’t going your way just because you think it should, you need to learn to grow up and take a step back and examine yourself first. And I’ll end it there.
6) People may not remember what you said or did, but they will always how you made them feel.
This goes back to my previous point. Just be kind, dammit it’s not that hard. It actually takes way more effort to be cruel to someone than it does to be nice. I’ve watched so many of you be ruthless to each other, especially this year. It’s ridiculous. If you can’t tolerate someone that’s fine – we can’t all get along. But just be the mature and bigger person about whatever the situation it is. You never know who might be in charge of hiring you for a job, but let me guarantee you this. If I was the hiring manager, and your name came across my desk that you didn’t know I worked at, and you were cruel to me or other people, I got news for you – you’re not getting the job. And if someone asks me for my opinion on how I think you would get along with the organization, trust me I’ll be the first to say you don’t belong here. But now of course I know none of you would ever put me in that situation.
7) Learn to take criticism, and learn when to keep your mouth shut.
So many of you get so butt-hurt when someone says something to you. You need to learn to brush that shit off. People are always going to be critical of who you are, or the work you have done. You need to learn not to take everything so personally. Find the joke in every situation, or take what the person is telling you and use it to motivate you to do better. You are going to be getting evaluations from your manager, and if you can’t take critical feedback and learn from it without getting offended, you aren’t going to last on that team for very long and that’s the honest to God truth.
8) We are all brothers.
This is single-handedly the most important point I will make. We are all brothers. We. Are. All. Brothers. That means that even if I don’t get along with you or don’t agree with you, I will ALWAYS have your back, and I will ALWAYS support you. You need a job? I’m your guy. You need a cover letter? I’m your guy. I will always be your guy. And I know there will be the select few of you that will always put yourself over others, and I can’t stop you – but I’m asking you to support your family. After all, I’m sure you have us to thank for something you have.
With that comes a close. Thank you all for making my college career something to remember. I can’t wait to see all the great things each of us get to accomplish. We are where we are for a reason. We select the best that fit our organizations and have similarly aligned goals to success. Keep on keeping on, and don’t be a stranger.
In U & I
Your Forever Faithful Brother
