An open letter to my ex that is my friend. Ex that I hate and love

Subject: An open letter to my ex that is my friend. Ex that I hate and love
Date: 9 Dec 2016

Here I am, writing a letter for the man who broke my heart and left me. To the man that i hate so deep inside for leaving me. To the man that once was my life. To the man that i love so deep inside that it burns. Burns to think, to feel, to remember. To the man that i miss every single moment. To the man that i i still love. Love so deep. I love him on some weird level. On the level that i will throw away my feelings to stay in his life. To talk. to smile. To know how is he doing. To know that he is good. Somehow i need him in my life. Somehow i just need it it. To come back home to a message from him. And it's not obsession. It's not. It's not sick love. It's just i can't stop caring for person that once was my world. I can't forget his kindness, his smile, his voice. His hard work and dedication. You know what i love the most about talking to him, is to listen to him. To listen when he talks about something he passionate about, that's really wonderful. He gets excited talking about sports, he gets serious talking about politics. He gets sad talking about bears. He loves use cars engine as example for anything. He gets excited about food. He gets competitive entering gym. He knows so much but the same time can act so silly. He makes me smile with every conversation. We could non stop talking all night without knowing it. We always can find something to discuss. I can't shake him off as much as i try. I can't stop caring. How do you do that? How you stop caring for someone? Please tell me, i am doing something wrong. We don't talk anymore... and we do the same time. Send messages but we don't talk. I can't call and tell what i feel how was the day ask how was yours I can't. I want to hear your voice your lough, i want to feel you again but who cares, right? I don't know what is in your head. I don't know you anymore. We like each other posts time to time. We text message time to time. But that's all. Will i ever see you again? will i ever hug you again? will we ever be the same again? Why it still hurts? I have been with other guys, i am sure you have been with other girls. So what? Do you still think of me? Do you remember that passion we had for each other? do you still feel something like i do... I don't know, i will never know. Please leave my heart, my thoughts and my life. I want to stop regret you, stop caring, stop feeling. I want shake you off. I want forget you. I still remember silly games we play, i still remember your smile, i still remember your jokes that i never understood. I remember all the talks and dreams. Here i am writing a letter to the man that i love, to the mean that i hate. Letter that i won't send to him. Letter that i will burn down just like my feelings. i hope you will be happy with someone. Your happiness always was on the first place for me and nothing changed. If you happy with someone, if you love someone than screw my feelings, screw them, i will bare them deep down. i will.. I will found someone eventually, fall in love again will marry and have kids and all the stuff that people want in their life. I will be happy too, no matter what and the person i will be with i will honestly love as well. But until that moment please tell me one more time that you love me too...